-Well, this just might be the best news to ever come out in the entire history of stuff: Kristen Wiig will be playing young Lucille in Arrested Development!
-That photo circulating of Miley Cyrus smoking pot is not actually Miley Cyrus, says Miley Cyrus.
–Clive Davis is sticking to his Kelly Clarkson stories, claiming he had everything in his memoir checked by “five independent individuals.” Because she’s awesome, Kelly responded, “I refuse to be bullied and I just have to clear up his memory lapses and misinformation. It feels like a violation.”
–Michelle Williams plays word games with the press when she’s bored. And this is why I’m glad I don’t have to do junkets any more…
-Meanwhile, Michelle says she’s growing out her Heath Ledger-honouring pixie cut.
–Lindsay Lohan borrowed a $1,750 dress for the AmFAR gala, and returned it cut in half and in tatters. (Also, who’s still lending Lilo dresses?!)
-The Black Keys’ Patrick Carney just won’t let his Twitter feed with Justin Bieber die, and for that I kind of love him.
-Well now I want to go ahead and write Bryan Cranston a fan letter.
-God bless sweet lil’ Mandy Moore. She is trying (once again) to be a sitcom star.
-Ouch! Kristen Stewart was just voted “the least sexy actress in Hollywood” in some stupid poll by some stupid guys whose faces probably look like farts.
-Uh-oh. On her Tumblr, M.I.A. implies that the Grammys’ set design ripped off her tour.
-I love this article on ’90s TV Shows that would make great party themes. Everyone I know: except an invite to a My So-Called Life party imminently.
–Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban got all PDA-y on a beach in Sydney.
-Canadian organ donor advocate Helene Campbell finally danced on The Ellen DeGeneres Show — and showed off Justin Bieber’s underwear.
-Is Ashlee Simpson “out of control” since her parents’ split? And are we supposed to care?
-In perfect casting news, Jane Lynch‘s first Broadway role will be as Miss Hannigan in Annie.
-Speaking of Broadway, Shia LaBeouf just dropped out of his first show due to that ol’ chestnut “creative differences.”
-Awww. Jessica Biel attended Seventh Heaven costar Beverley Mitchell‘s baby shower.
-Just because everyone loves knocking stars who’re at the top of their game down a peg or two, someone just posted Ben Affleck’s old directorial debut on Youtube. It’s called I Killed My Lesbian Wife, Hung Her On A Meathook And Now I Have A Three-Picture Deal At Disney. No, really.
-And here’s a supercut of this year’s Oscar nominees’ earliest roles.
–Lily Collins is the latest starlet to begin wasting away before our eyes.
-Hey, remember in high school when you loved Billy Corgan? Here’s how far he’s fallen.
–Leonardo DiCaprio‘s overseas ad for Jim Bean is so awkward! I’m pretty sure all that cringe-viewing just gave me a bunch of premature wrinkles…