-I couldn’t get through the People article on Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner’s perfect Hollywood marriage. I really tried, but I got to the part about how Jen “dialled back on her own career” to commit to being a homemaker and I started making these weird noises from the back of my throat that were freaking out my coworkers. Seriously, there’s Oscar campaigning and then there’s…whatever the hell this is.
-From these clips, it looks like Beyonce opened up more to Oprah than she did to her own documentary camera crew.
-Meanwhile, I love how open Bey is in this interview about how she controls her brand. It’s not unusual for famous people to think like that, but it is unusual for them to admit it so freely.
-First there was swatting, and now there’s police “spoofing,” which is being blamed for those prank 911 calls originating from Katie Couric’s dead husband’s phone.
-These 28 Daria quotes for any situation basically rule my life.
-One of my biggest regrets about last year’s TIFF is that I didn’t go to Jason Reitman‘s live-reading of American Beauty, and his next one sounds even better: an all-female cast doing Glengarry Glen Ross. Mae Whitman in the Kevin Spacey role would be amazing!
-Uh oh. Lindsay Lohan‘s The Canyons will be released this summer.
–Kim Kardashian‘s divorce is finally heading to trial. Not ’till May but still, baby steps!
-It was a lovely-dovey Valentine’s Day in Hollywood. Katy Perry and John Mayer enjoyed a romantic dinner, Kim Kardashian got a $73k bracelet from Kanye West, Jessica Simpson and Eric Johnson were spotted at lunch, Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban grabbed dinner, Britney Spears was seen with a mystery guy, while Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon posted some ridiculous photos of their day out.
-Not having a great V Day were Rihanna and Chris Brown, who were spotted at the same club — ignoring each other.
-Meanwhile, Vin Diesel won Valentine’s Day with this video of him singing Rihanna‘s “Stay” at karaoke.
-Lots of great TV casting news announced today: Felicity Huffman will play a housewife assassin in a new Fox pilot (’cause that’s what all actresses named Felicity seem to do these days), and Kyle Chandler will return to TV for Showtime’s The Vatican. If anyone can take the Catholic Football League to the state championship, it’s Coach Taylor!
-Speaking of TV, may I present you with 36 reasons why Happy Endings is the best sitcom on TV.
-I really liked last night’s Community (especially since the premiere felt a bit…off), but the ratings tanked.
-This can’t be a good idea: Harrison Ford is returning for J.J. Abrams’ Star Wars sequel.
–Tom Cruise‘s fight against InTouch is getting nasty, yo.
–Keri Russell and Matthew Rhys are HILARIOUS in this interview on The Americans. I want this to be the whole show.
–Kristen Bell is denying reports that she got frisky with Dax Shepard at an animal hospital, but wants you to know that “if I ever was turned on around the smell of dog piss, I certainly wouldn’t apologize for it.”
–Brangelina took their brood to the museum yesterday. Is it weird to be jealous of a little kid’s aviators? ‘Cause I’m so there.
-Here’s a great supercut of Parks and Recreation characters getting wasted. I knew there was a reason I loved this show.
-The new trailer for The Host looks more promising than the last one. It still loses me every time it says “from the author of the Twilight saga,” though.