-The Justin Timberlake/Jessica Biel wedding cover from People has landed, and it’s even more amazing than we could have ever predicted. Of course (of course!) it’s all about Justin, whose leap practically fills the frame while Jessica is relegated to sitting on the floor and virtually blending into the background (and disapproving ex Britney Spears looks on from the top right corner — I’m guessing that wasn’t cleared in their photo rights contract). JT even stole Jessica’s thunder by singing while she was walking down the aisle. Dude, that was her ONE chance to shine! Gawker‘s headline says it all: “As Details Leak, It Becomes Apparent Jessica Biel Was Merely a Guest at Justin Timberlake’s Wedding to Himself”
-That awkward wedding photo has already been eclipsed by more awkwardness: as first revealed by Lainey, Justin‘s friend and L.A. real estate agent Justin Huchel showed an 8-minute video at the ceremony of homeless people congratulating the happy couple. Soo funny, right?!? Gawker posted a clip and was immediately served with a letter from Huchel’s lawyer stating the footage was “to be used and exhibited privately at Justin Timberlake’s wedding as a private joke.” Because it’s totally ok and in no way disgusting to make fun of the destitute as long as no one finds out!
-Also, JT didn’t invite Joey Fatone and Lance Bass to the nuptials which — given everything we’ve heard about it so far — means they dodged a bullet.
-Bobby Brown was arrested for another DUI. Must be a day that ends in ‘y’.
–Hugh Jackman opens up about being abandoned by his mom and makes women around the world want to hug him (even more so than usual).
–Christina Applegate opens up her breast cancer ordeal — and manages to slip in a sweet Anchorman reference!
-Speaking of Christina, she and her fiance Martyn LeNoble are reportedly being harassed by a Twitter stalker.
-The curse of the red carpet makeup mishap has struck our beloved Jon Hamm.
–Brad Pitt wants to remind us that Angelina‘s “still naughty.” Um, thanks?
–Taylor Swift teaches us all a valuable lesson in her “Begin Again” video. If you ever find yourself dumped by Jake Gyllenhaal, all you have to do is go to Paris and flirt with cute French boys to get over it. Noted.
–Lindsay Lohan live-tweeted the presidential debate. For reals.
–Robert Pattinson says he and Kristen Stewart have “pretty ridiculous sex” — in Breaking Dawn Part 2, at least.
-Meanwhile, I’m really digging the outfit Kristen wore in Tokyo.
–Nick Offerman shows you how to grow a Movember mustache, just in case you need help.
–Tom Hanks went on Jimmy Fallon last night to recite a slam poem about Full House. And it was awesome.
-This might be my favourite Tumblr ever.
-What’s Madonna like as a mom? Predictably strict, according to her son Rocco.
-NBC may be holding Community hostage, but at least they’re letting you remix the show’s previous Halloween episodes.
-ABC just purchased a viking drama from Charlize Theron. Yup, I’m intrigued.
-I really needed this Friday Night Lights mashup of Coach Taylor’s pep talks today.
–Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez are reportedly mad at Ashley Benson for dumping Bieb‘s swagger coach for James Franco.
–Nicole Kidman talks about the end of her marriage and the filming of Eyes Wide Shut in a new piece she wrote for The Hollywood Reporter.
-The first TV trailer for The Hobbit has landed. I still can’t bring myself to care, for some reason. Just me?
-The latest trailer for Nicholas Sparks‘ Safe Haven starring Julianne Hough (seriously, we’re still trying to make her happen?!) and Josh Duhamel has landed,and it looks a whole lot like The Notebook, from the canoe ride to the rain-drenched kiss.