-Celebrity Halloween costume roundup: I have no idea what Jessica Simpson is dressed up as (but I’m pretty sure we’re just supposed to be focusing on her tiny waist anyway), Ellen Degeneres went as Sofia Vergara, and Aziz Ansari gave white boys permission to go as Tom Haverford if they have enough swag. In the end though, it was Miley Cyrus who won Halloween with her Nicki Minaj costume.
-A new clip from Breaking Dawn shows Bella re-learning how to act like a human (marking the first time ever Kristen Stewart has been told she needs to slouch MORE).
–Gene Hackman slapped a homeless man who called his wife a see-you-next-Tuesday, but police have determined it was self-defence.
-Has Taylor Swift moved on to Ed Sheeran? NO! She’s going to break his sweet ginger heart and then write vindictive songs about it!
-Meanwhile, my friend just created the best Taylor Swift cartoon ever.
-Also, TSwifty is giving her best sexy face for Cosmo.
-This promo confirms that Louis CK’s Saturday Night Live show must go on, even after a hurricane.
-Speaking of SNL, Anne Hathaway is set to host with Rihanna as the musical guest.
-Even David Beckham can’t take Adam Levine seriously.
-A sexual battery report has been filed against Cee Lo Green, though he’s vehemently denied the allegations.
-Aerosmith’s Steven Tyler and his fiancée are reportedly on the rocks.
-Every year, a haunted house in Niagara Falls posts photos of people who look like they’re about to pee their pants, and every year they just get better and better.
–Brad Pitt donated $100,000 to fight for marriage equality, but it’s really hard to take the story seriously because it’s accompanied by a still of him in the Chanel ad.
–Lindsay Lohan‘s Twitter account was hacked. How could anyone tell the difference?
-This is amazing! Ashley Greene is complaining that some of the exes “loved publicity.” How did she get through that quote with a straight face?!
-Awww, guys. Look at lil’ Justin Bieber’s biceps!
-It’s the last day to vote for Scandal Sheet in round one of the Canadian Blog Awards. Please vote, won’t y?
–Aaron Paul is back in Los Angeles (and looking hawt!) after shooting A Long Way Down in Spain.
-I don’t know what kind of YouTube rabbit hole just led me to the Easy A bloopers, but I’m grateful.
-Bad news, guys. Nicholas Sparks is working on not one, but three TV projects.
–Kate Moss looks all kinds of great on the cover of Vanity Fair.
-It’s the final nail in the “Gangnam Style” coffin: Glee is paying tribute to it.