–Gillian Anderson denies she’s dating David Duchovny but I don’t care. I want to believe, dammit!
–Taylor Swift and Conor Kennedy have split. Quick, someone check Ethel’s pulse!
-Brace yourself: a Kurt and Courtney musical might be in our future.
–Amy Poehler is ABC’s Person of the Week! (Actually this came from last week, but I consider her to be the Person of the Week year-round.)
-Meanwhile, Amy‘s BFF Tina Fey gave a rousing speech last night. “If I have to listen to one more grey-faced man with a $2 haircut explain to me what rape is, I’m going to lose my mind.” Word.
–James Franco denied dating Kristen Stewart (while managing to throw in a mention that he is one of the few stars who actually goes to movies at TIFF).
-Speaking of KStew, a new Breaking Dawn clip shows off her crazy vampire strength (and surprisingly not bad wig).
–Idris Elba is in talks to be the first black James Bond. Me likey!
–Ashley Greene and a dude no one knew she was dating broke up.
-Want to gawk at Jon Hamm and Jessica Pare in their bathing suits? Yeah ya do.
–Tom Cruise is suing a tabloid for saying he abandoned Suri since he hasn’t seen her for months. Wouldn’t a quick photo opp be easier?
-This is made with awesome sauce: Modern Family‘s Eric Stonestreet surprised his on-screen hubby Jesse Tyler Ferguson with a serenade from the Boston Gay Men’s Chorus.
–Eli Roth showed 200 Amazonian villagers their first movie and they were all “meh.”
–Oprah Winfrey says her Justin Bieber Q&A is “one of the most in-depth interviews’ the star has ever done.” And yet the clip they’re using to promote it is snore-inducing.
–Bradley Cooper gets to star in Cameron Crowe’s next movie AND make out with Emma Stone.
–Malin Akerman showcases the almost civilized parts of Canada in this new Funny or Die clip.
-Here’s some photos of Aaron Paul in Spain, just ’cause.
–Katie Holmes wore a $70 dress and the world continued to turn!!
–Lindsay Lohan‘s publicist has quit after all her latest drama. Think she qualifies for workers’ comp?
-I saw a preview of Cloud Atlas this week (it’s actually better than the critics would have you believe) and it totally reignited my Jim Sturgess crush. Then I saw his new ‘stache. Crush nullified.
-So, the Gossip Girl writers are just totally messing with us at this point, right?