Monthly Archives

September 2016

So, Is Brad Pitt Being Investigated For Child Abuse Or Not?

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-The big story today was that Brad Pitt is being investigated for child abuse after an alleged meltdown last week on a private plane, as reported by both People and TMZ this morning. This seemed to shed light on the inciting “incident” that both Us Weekly and Lainey referred to when first reporting on the sudden split. According to the reports, an allegedly inebriated Pitt was verbally and physically abusive with one of the kids, and the incident spilled over onto the tarmac, where he reportedly tried leaving in one of the fuel trucks. But then things got a little blurry this afternoon, with a spokesperson for the LAPD insisting to The Hollywood Reporter that there is no active investigation against Pitt. However, he’s not off the hook. People then clarified their story, saying he’s being investigated by the L.A. County Department of Children and Family Services, not the LAPD.  TMZ then added to their story, saying the LAPD does not have an active investigation underway because they transferred the case to the FBI since the alleged incident occurred in the air and then the plane landed in Minnesota, not in their jurisdiction. People and Us Weekly  are now both reporting that the case has been referred to the FBI, with Us Weekly adding that both Pitt and Angelina Jolie spoke  to the DCFS after the jet incident.

-And yet, in spite all of the madness surrounding today’s news there’s still no rebuttal or denial from Pitt’s team hours after this story first broke. According to Lainey, it’s because he’s worried that if he comes out strong against this, there might be more receipts. There’s already talk about how the alleged incident may affect his custody chances.

-Meanwhile, People managed to get their Brangelina cover in under the wire after all (sorry Michael Strahan). According to them, she offered to file the papers together but he begged her to hold off.

-In other news, Marion Cotillard  firmly denied those Brad Pitt affair rumours and announced her pregnancy in one Instagram post.

-It’s probably not a good sign that the latest SNL cast member deleted 2k tweets after getting hired — and then deleted her entire account.

-Speaking of SNL, Margot Robbie will host the season premiere with The Weeknd as musical guest.

-Man, this THR interview with 17 TV showrunners pissed me off. The part where almost all of them turned their noses up at live-tweeting (“a garbage idea perpetuated by garbage people”) is mind-boggling. They all have shows on the big 4 networks — where pretty much the only thing keeping audiences watching broadcast TV live in the age of DVRs, on demand cable and streaming is Twitter. Way to piss off an engaged fanbase that’s giving you loads of free promotion, assholes. Is it because they want everyone to watch their shows with rapt, undivided attention? Cause that’s not how the world works anymore.

-I haven’t watched the Mr Robot finale yet but the headlines this morning were…not great. Critics calling it “a cautionary tale” and “a pile of pretentious bullshit” do not leave me eager to catch up.

–Neil Patrick Harris‘ family takes Halloween way too seriously.

–Hillary Clinton appeared on Zach Galifianakis’ Between Two Ferns. Considering all of his questions must have been vetted, it’s impressive he got to ask some of these.

-In a new interview, Lindsay Lohan makes abuse claims against former fiancé, saying she feared he’d splash acid in her face.

–Michael Strahan is #sorrynotsorry about the way he left Kelly Ripa on Live!

-Fred Armisen and Bill Hader made the perfect prestige food-porn parody.

-The new Walking Dead trailer focuses on Ezekiel, ruler of the Kingdom.

-The first teasers for Ghost In Shell show Scarlett Johansson as Major Motoko Kusanagi.

 

Brangelina Split, but Jennifer Aniston Gets All The Covers?

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-UPDATE: Brad Pitt is reportedly being investigated for child abuse after allegedly getting verbally and physically abusive on a private plane with his family last week. More to come, but I guess we know what that inciting “incident” Us Weekly keeps talking about is…

-Tabloids deserve all the eyerolls today. Brangelina‘s split news dropped too late for most to change this week’s covers, so the lower-tiered ones are stuck running their typical (*cough* false *cough*) stories about Jennifer Aniston. Except for the New York Post, who inexplicably ran their Brangelina split cover today — and didn’t feature a photo of Brangelina. Not surprisingly, the online reaction was swift and punishing. I’m wondering how long it’ll take Aniston to ask to remove herself from this narrative?

-I actually thought that if anyone had a chance to rush a new cover to press before their Tuesday deadline it’d be People, but it looks like they were stuck with their Michael Strahan one. At least were in for some deep dives across the newsstand next week.

-Oh my god, I didn’t even think about how the split is going to affect Brangelina’s Miravel rosé. But that’s my summer water!

-Just in case you weren’t already convinced that Brad Pitt was blindsided, here’s footage of CNN breaking the divorce news to George Clooney.

-Meanwhile, I love Lainey’s acutely sharp insight into how Pitt is floundering without being the beneficiary of Angelina Jolie‘s media savvy. He’s going to need to tighten up if he’s fighting for joint custody, as TMZ is reporting.

–Chelsea Handler weighed in on the split by saying “he married a ***king lunatic.” Not that she’s biased or anything.

-Also, I’m going to really, really need Jam Session to drop an emergency Brangelina podcast stat.

-In other couple news, Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes’ camps have shot down Us Weekly’s report that they are secretly married. Gawd Hollywood, can’t you give us one thing to hold onto this week?!

-Ok, let’s turn to happier topics, shall we? Like Parks and Rec’s Jean-Ralphio meeting his doppelganger, Stranger Things’ Steve.

–Idris Elba is going to be on TV again. Just pour this show directly into my eyeballs ASAP.

–Joss Whedon recruited stars from Buffy, Avengers, Greys Anatomy, Blindspot and more for a predictably great anti-Trump PSA. And he returned to Twitter!

–Gabrielle Union continues to impress the hell out of me on her Birth of a Nation press tour. “In order to begin to see change start to occur, we have to be willing to have conversations with people who have different opinions than us. I’ve already talked to Lena Dunham; I would love to talk to Kate Upton and Amy Schumer. Maybe I can help to explain the oppressive systems that have benefited and allowed them to say these careless, insensitive and offensive things. Those conversations are awkward as f-ck and they get heated.”

–Uma Thurman is the latest movie star to make the jump to TV.

-Folk aren’t impressed with Karen Gillan‘s ‘sexist’ Jumanji outfit, but she insists there’s a reason why she’s wearing child-sized clothes.

-How come this is the first I’m hearing about Netflix’s Easy, a show that drops tomorrow starring Aya Cash, Dave Franco, Hannibal Buress, Gugu Mbatha-Raw and Jake Johnson from the guy who did Drinking Buddies??  I love all of those people! This is the issue of peak TV meeting Netflix’s revulsion for promotion – stuff gets lost in the shuffle.

-I spent a lot of time staring at the McQueen dress Emily Blunt wore to The Girl On The Train premiere and trying to figure out if I like it or not. I think so?  Ask me again in five minutes and I might not.

-My stance on Felicity Jones’ terrible dress at the Burberry show is much less conflicted.

–Leah Remini is teaming up with A&E for a new series on Scientology. Here for it.

-Intriguing: Jeffrey Tambor says he has “marching orders” to return to the Arrested Development set in January.

-I love that Chris Pratt braiding interviewers’ hair is now a thing. (Also, Denzel is in a way better mood in this video than he seemed at TIFF.)

-This is really great writing on The Ringer this week celebrating the types of TV that critics tend to ignore. As much as I like Atlanta, Mr Robot, etc., I’m most looking forward to the return of superheroes and soapy dramas.

-This new Anne of Green Gables trailer is…something.

-Yes, Ryan Gosling plays a keytard in La La Land. Him posing with it while biting his lower lip –as well as the scene where Emma Stone forces him to perform “I Ran” — is pure delight.

–Gosling, Kate Hudson and Hugh Grant read mean tweets about themselves on Kimmel last night.

–Taraji P. Henson, Octavia Spencer, and Janelle Monáe get their math on in the new Hidden Figures trailer. People who saw this at TIFF loved it.

Brangelina Drops Divorce Bombshell

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-Ok, it’s been a few hours. Have you processed it yet? Has it sunk in? Brangelina is no more. It’s sad and it sucks for the kids and no one wants to revel in that part of it. So let’s focus on the interesting part: the media strategy. Keep your Kardashians and your Swifts; Angelina Jolie just delivered a bruising reminder that she’s the ultimate image master. This was no conscious uncoupling, no talk of how it’s amicable. She wants to grab her kids and get out, and to do so she’s inviting us all up in her business to make sure that happens. Sources that seem to come from her camp imply she’s nervous about Brad Pitt‘s parenting skills, citing substance abuse and anger issues, and she wants you to know it. According to People the split happened five days ago, but she held on until after all the Emmy coverage died down, waiting until editors on both coasts were at their desks before she dropped the bombshell.

The way she did it, with a pitbull lawyer, a request for joint legal custody but sole *physical* custody, and the implied allegations that burn it all to the ground, makes me doubt all the recent gossip about her drug use. Because if she thought he had anything on her, anything that would jeopardize her sole custody request, would she have gone after him this hard?

So what about the Marion Cotillard of it all? Despite Page Six’s affair report (and numerous blind items over the summer), multiple sources are insisting Pitt’s costar had nothing to do with it. (Though judging by all the ‘serves her right’ slut-shaming I saw today on Twitter from Aniston stans, Jolie would do well to avoid any cheating narrative.)

It sounds like they’d been having issues for a while; People is reporting that the fighting between Jolie and Pitt got so bad this year that he fled to France multiple times to escape it. Us Weekly is reporting an “incident’ last week involving Pitt that prompted Jolie to take action. Based on his weak sauce statement today, he clearly didn’t have the time to strategize that she did.

Another interest angle is how TMZ has positioned themselves this summer. Yes, they were once again the first to break the story, but they are clearly in Jolie’s camp (much like they were in Johnny Depp’s earlier). Their claims that Pitt’s weed consumption was a factor is eye-rolling. (That he’s a notorious pothead couldn’t have come as news to her — unless the rumours that he’s drinking more and maybe graduated to harder stuff are true). Still, at what point are readers going to start seeing TMZ as just a front for narratives constructed by one side’s lawyers? Personally, I’m keeping my eye on Us Weekly for being the one to lead the coverage, as they clearly have a good inside source. The mag got the earliest credible tip that there was trouble in paradise (in a story that weirdly never appeared online, only in print, back in June).

Also, it what might actually be the worst timing in history, Pitt and Cotillard’s new movie trailer just landed, which depicts them falling in love. Did Jolie know that was dropping today? At this point, I’m putting nothing past her. Let us all bow down to the master.

-On the plus side, maybe Jennifer Aniston will finally no longer be cast as some kind of sad “poor her” figure we should pity? She’s certainly having a big meme day.

-In way happier news, Lin-Manuel Miranda is on the new cover of GQ!

-I don’t praise Gwyneth Paltrow often (ever?) but she was interviewed in today’s Lenny and I love her statements about the double-standard in celebrity brand expansion and how no one ever questions all the projects Ashton Kutcher or JJ Abrams take on: “Of course they’re not. They’re not asking Ryan Murphy that, and he has more irons in the fire than anyone. Everybody wants you in the caricature of you if you’re a woman…I was genuinely surprised at the vitriol. I mean, honestly, I sent this nothing [GOOP] issue from my kitchen that had a recipe and two things in it, or maybe it was just a recipe. I don’t even remember. It had nothing in it, and the New York Times wrote maybe a four-page article. It’s unbelievable. The response was totally bananas.”

–Jared Leto just got cast in a new Andy Warhol biopic. You know, the guy who harassed his costars and shit-talked his movie before even seeing it? Yeah, let’s reward that.

-Oh jesus. Friends of Jim Carrey‘s late girlfriend says she married a Scientologist as part of an immigration scam.

-Sweet! FX just renewed Atlanta and Better Things. Donald Glover‘s new show may be getting all the press, but don’t sleep on Pamela Aldon.

-Speaking of under-the-radar TV, have you watched Fleabag yet? I knew I was going to love this show when one character told another she looked tired, and she responded “Yes, I’m successful.” In any case, this interview with the creator and star is delightful.

-Mr Robot’s Portia Doubleday spent the entire Emmys looking for Beyonce. Same.

–Jimmy Fallon followed up his bad Trump interview with a bad Clinton one. This was a good take on the state of election-driven late-night comedy and his place within that.

–Chris Pratt and Jennifer Lawrence enjoy sexy times in space in the new Passengers trailer.