Carey Mulligan and Stephen Colbert Can’t Read?

Carey Mulligan and Stephen Colbert talked about The Great Gatsby last night — but both revealed that they hadn’t read the novel because neither of them can read. Carey: “Is lunch in the movie? I don’t know — I’m always too afraid to ask!” Luckily, Levar Burton was there to teach them how!

-Meanwhile, it may be getting slammed by critics but The Great Gatsby‘s early showings opened strong.

-The “Ryan Gosling won’t eat his cereal” vines are kind of perfect. The creator talks about his inspiration here.

-What’s better than watching Tom Cruise run? How about watching Tom Cruise run on The Great Wall?

-Warning: Gwyneth Paltrow may give you a rash.

-Meanwhile, I could listening to drunk Gwyneth Paltrow talking all day. Start around the 5:00 mark, when she admits to eating bread(!).

-Also, Gwyneth showed Bon Appetit magazine what Apple and Moses will be making her for breakfast on Sunday.

-A lame recurring skit on The Tonight Show turn unexpectedly awesome thanks to this incredibly charming couple.

Tom Hardy‘s marriage to Charlotte Riley has reportedly been “put on hold,” and Noomi Rapace is “comforting” him. Well, they did bond over that puppy.

Prince Harry was the surprise guest at Michelle Obama’s teaparty, much to the delight of every ovary in a 100 mile radius.

Justin Bieber says “being taken out by a girl would affect my masculinity.” I dunno. I think being held like a baby by a bodyguard might be worse.

-Also, a new survey reveals everyone hates Justin Bieber, but would maybe vote for Justin Timberlake for president.

Taylor Swift sent Selena Gomez a video of herself dancing to Selena’s new album, cause they’re BFFs FOREVZ!

-Sorry, Gus Van Sant, but it looks like Joe Wright may be the one to direct Fifty Shades of Grey. (I still haven’t forgiven him for his 2005 Pride and Prejudice adaptation, and this isn’t going to do anything to put him in my good books). Also, Arrow star Stephen Amell says he was considered but passed over for the role of Christian Grey.

-In other surprising movie news, Ansel Elgort has landed the role of Augustus Waters in The Fault In Our Stars. All together now: who?!?

Kerry Washington is usually en fuego on the red carpet, but I’m really not feeling this look.

Hayden Panettiere says she’s sleeping on a futon in her friend’s attic as she awaits word on the fate of Nashville.

-It’s official: Zooey Deschanel is completely unrecognisable without her bangs.

Amanda Bynes‘ parents have finally decided that they might want to pay her a visit. Also, she pled no contest to driving with a suspended license.

Jimmy Kimmel aired another edition of “Celebrities Read Mean Tweets” last night. Elisabeth Moss‘ reaction is the best.

-Even better: watch Nick Offerman read tweets by Miley Cyrus, Amanda Bynes and Carly Rae Jepsen while chopping and sawing wood.

Game of Thrones‘ Maisie Williams talks about turning 16 and tweeting at Taylor Swift in this adorable interview.

-Meanwhile, I love that Arya is becoming a popular girls name.

-There was lots of breaking TV news today. NBC has cancelled Go On (but will likely renew Community!), and Fox is bringing back 24. For reals. CBS picked up comedies starring Sarah Michelle Gellar, Anna Farris and Will Arnett. Also, Parker Posey just quit her new show — the day after it was picked up.

-I would have been happy if last night’s The Office was its last episode ever instead of next week’s. That was a damn near-perfect episode (assuming you ignore all the Andy stuff).

-Also, I love this feature on what TV shows actors and network execs are watching.

-Speaking of showrunners, here’s a great feature on New Girl‘s Liz Meriweather. Between this and the NYT profile on Shonda Rhimes, it’s a good week for women in TV.

-It’s odd that Vogue gave Kate Upton a cover. Equally odd: the overarching theme of the article is basically how Kate Upton is not fat.

Sarah Polley‘s Stories We Tell doc opens in the US this weekend, and the reviews are deservedly glowing.

-Just in case you didn’t already guess this, it’s not a good idea to let Zach Galifianakis give you a haircut.

Michael Cera not only got a writing credit on the new season of Arrested Development, he’s also a producer.

90210‘s Shenae Grimes just got married. It’s not often you read an article about a celeb’s wedding that includes the line, “The bride walked down the aisle to house music.”

-Oh merde. Paris Hilton is making a new album.

-I love that Lauren Graham is doing a press tour for her new book, because she’s delightful! (Also, her novel debuted at No. 15 on the NYT Bestseller’s list.)

-Speaking of authors, David Foster Wallace‘s commencement speech went viral this week — five years after his death.

-Want to watch Mariah Carey pose awkwardly on a motorcycle? Check out her new video with Miguel.

Penn Badgley talks about dating Blake Lively in a new interview with Elle.

-The full Gravity trailer has landed and it looks amazing! See Alfonso Cuarón strand George Clooney and Sandra Bullock in outer space. (The trailer seems mostly comprised of the rumoured 20-minute, uninterrupted opening scene depicting said stranding.)

Jen McDonnell is an entertainment freelancer and social media specialist. She put her celeb stalking skills to good use as managing editor of www.dose.ca. Likes: pop culture, celebrity dirt, guilty pleasure TV, George Clooney, cheese. Dislikes: people who use 'begs the question' incorrectly. Follow Jen on Twitter @jen_mcdonnell. Follow Jen

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