-I’m not exactly sure what Megan Fox is promoting that got her a magazine cover, but the ensuing quotes are so hilariously smug that I’ll allow it.
–Iggy Azalea just can’t stop gushing about her boob job – no matter how much we may want her to.
-The world’s most famous musicians hosted the world’s most awkward press conference yesterday. (I like the concept of Tidal, but Jay Z is cray if he thinks people are going to spend more than double what Netflix costs on a monthly music streaming subscription.)
-God, I love watching comedians obliterate drunken hecklers.
-Speaking of comedians, I know they use Twitter to workshop jokes and therefore deserve some leniency, but I don’t love the way that people are using that as an excuse to hand-wave away the Trevor Noah controversy. I mean, he’s now fronting a show whose whole purpose is to smugly mock dumb shit like this.
-Also, according to Bill Simmons, Amy Poehler, Amy Schumer and Louis CK all turned down The Daily Show hosting job before it was offered to Noah. I’m still holding out hope that Aisha Tyler lands a late-night gig soon.
-God bless Melissa McBride for lobbying hard to spare her character on The Walking Dead last year. She’s the best thing that show has going for it.
–Russell Crowe tried to walk back his stupid comments about aging actresses — but then just ended up making a new bunch of stupid comments on the subject.
-Also, Crowe claims Michael Jackson prank called him for years.
-Not surprisingly, Harvey Weinstein has denied those reports that he sexually assaulted the 22-year-old Italian model.
-Meanwhile, the poster for Duchovny’s new NBC show has a very Californication vibe, which worries me.
-I remain charmed by how the One Tree Hill continues to host this fan event every single year.
-God bless Billy Eichner for making clueless teens scream for Robert Durst.
-OK! Magazine had to retract their story about Katy Perry being engaged and pregnant. That’s ok; they still have a whole magazine full of false stories to enjoy!
-There’s no better way to brighten your day than seeing Helen Mirren say “spotted dick” on helium.
-I really want Jennifer Lawrence’s hat. How do I make this happen?
-I somehow missed all the controversy surrounding Lena Dunham‘s New Yorker column, but this is a smart take on it.
-Meanwhile, Lena has promised her boyfriend she’ll reform — for one week.
–Kendrick Lamar tried to perform from the back of a moving truck last night but the police shut him down.
-Um, I think I’m going to love the new Mad Max movie and that confuses me.