— VH1 (@VH1) March 1, 2015
-In her unretouched photos, Jennifer Lopez still looks better than I would after eleventy million hours in a makeup chair. So that makes me feel great.
–JLo also says she blamed herself for her cheating exes. (That’s sad. If she wants to cheer herself up, I have some unretouched photos she could look at.)
-For some reason, Leonardo DiCaprio‘s rep is vehemently denying the only thing that’s made Leonardo DiCaprio slightly interesting in years.
-Assume crash position: Chris Brown is now a father.
-It was the last straw for his girlfriend Karrueche Tran, who tweeted, “Listen. One can only take so much. The best of luck to Chris and his family. No baby drama for me.”
-First it was Begin Again, and now this. Adam Levine continues to win me over. Dammit.
–Justin Bieber‘s Comedy Central roast promo is a parody of SNL’s parody of Justin Bieber’s Calvin Klein ads. I think? I dunno – I only made it through 0.07 seconds of his shirtlessness before my eyeballs started vomiting.
-Meanwhile, Justin Bieber continues to have a Twitter conversation with Seth Rogen all by himself.
-Speaking of Seth Rogen, he just can’t stop ruining Amy Pascal‘s life. First, The Interview led to the Sony hack which got her fired. And now she can’t move into her new office because it smells like his weed.
-Look, it’s total balls that the female lead of a TV show wasn’t asked to be part of the DVD commentary. But when your show is *thisclose* to being cancelled, airing your grievances with the producers and letting everyone know that there’s behind-the-scenes tension is a bit of a logic boner.
-Rejoice! The Oscars might be going back to five Best Picture nominees.
–This makes me feel much better about not giving a crap about House of Cards. Seriously, there’s too much on right now to waste time on bad TV masquerading as good TV.
-If everyone who is hating themselves for binging the new season of House of Cards had just spent that time catching up on The Americans, the world would be a better place (albeit a place with a lot more intense conversations about wig budgets). Here’s a compelling argument for why you should be watching.
-I love that James Van Der Beek immediately admits in this interview that he’s doing CSI: Cyber so he can feed his kids.
–Mo’Nique claims she was supposed to play Cookie on Empire, is met with the world’s largest side eye.
-I like this article on how The Mindy Project is keeping the main character a mess despite recent, um, plot developments.
-I can’t decide if Chris Hemsworth‘s hosting gig on SNL this weekend is going to be a tremendous success or a terrible failure. The promos are funny, but that’s all on Kate McKinnon. “I touched The Hems! You saw it!”
-Speaking of Thor, it took a lot of tweeting to unlock it, but the final trailer For Avengers: Age of Ultron is here, and it’s pretty effing great.