(Note: I’m taking the next few days off for a birthday trip to Vegas. See ya next week!)
–Mariah Carey sticks with her signature arms-over-head pose for her new album cover. Also, it’s subtitled “the elusive chanteuse.” You can’t make this stuff up.
–George Clooney kept his proposal classy and old school, making Amal a homemade dinner before getting down on one knee.
–Jennifer Lawrence was voted FHM’s Sexiest Woman in the World, beating out Rihanna, Mila Kunis, Beyonce and Scarlet Johansson.
–Sarah Jessica Parker opened up about her Twitter smackdown of a fan who questioned whether she was her twins’ mother in an article that’s accompanied by the most unflattering black-and-white pic of her ever taken.
–Josh Hartnett claims he was offered pretty much every superhero role there ever was. Sure thing, sweetie.
–Demi Lovato posted a makeup-free selfie today, but everyone’s more focused on her thong.
–Lena Dunham had the perfect response to those breakup rumours surrounding her and Jack Antonoff.
–Drake is a lint-roller enthusiast. Who knew?
-I have never liked Justin Bieber more than after I heard he taunted Rob Ford about his crack use. That kid might just be alright after all.
-Meanwhile, Justin’s pal Lil Za has been sentenced to probation.
-Oh god. There’s an Elliot Smith documentary coming. I’m not emotionally prepared to process this.
–Quentin Tarantino has filed a new lawsuit against Gawker for that Hateful Eight script leak.
–Vanessa Paradis is rebounding from her split a lot better than her ex, no?
-Newly single Nikki Reed was reportedly spotted getting flirty with Derek Hough.
–Sam Worthington settled that paparazzo assault case.
-Today in real estate porn, take a look inside Mary Kate Olsen and Olivier Sakozy’s “love nest.”
-The best part about Good Morning America’s segment on Miley Cyrus‘ health scare is when the doctor laughed out loud at Cyrus’ claim of an allergic reaction that lasts”27 days.”
-The rumoured guest list for Kimye‘s wedding is beyond underwhelming.
-News I don’t hate: Hailee Steinfeld has been cast in Pitch Perfect 2.
-The cast and crew of Grey’s Anatomy bid a fond farewell to Sandra Oh.
–Ellen Page‘s X-Men publicity tour has turned into her coming out tour. She was very cute and humble when being congratulated by Ellen.
-Sadness: the coroner’s report revealed Peaches Geldof died of a heroin overdose.
-The trailer for The Simpsons LEGO episode looks pretty great.