-Meanwhile, The Onion’s headline is perfect.
-Also, how did I not know until now that Maya Rudolph has a Prince cover band called Princess?
-Um, that’s not how hashtags work, Sharon Stone.
-Esquire always does right by George Clooney. They tend to get him to open up in a way other publications don’t. (Remember when he shit-talked Leonardo DiCaprio’s basketball skills?) His latest cover story doesn’t disappoint.
–Julianna Margulies says we’ll either ‘love or hate’ the Good Wife’s series finale. Ruh roh.
-Teach me your shade ways, Kelly Ripa!
-Arrested Development’s Maria Bamford is starring in a new Netflix show , and it looks fantastic. (The trailer hooked me as soon as she and Ana Gasteyer started doing my go-to drunk move: laser tits.)
-I’m not sue who this comedian is who recreated a bunch of celebrity Instagram poses, but I think I love her.
-The Bones lawsuit is offering a good glimpse of how a hit show loses money. Despite pulling in over a half a billion dollars in their first seven seasons, however, Bones somehow ended up over $43 million in the red.
-I love The Hollywood Reporter’s tips for getting a divorce in Hollywood: “plan for your future ex’s reality show.”
-Time’s 100 Most Influential People articles are great, mostly because they’re written by other stars. Rita Moreno writes that Gina Rodriguez is “a young woman who knows her true north,” while J.J. Abrams says Lin-Manuel Miranda‘s “wit would be intimidating if not for his natural and infectious charm.”
–Michael Keaton plays the founder of McDonalds in the new trailer for The Founder.
–Jesse Eisenberg and Kristen Stewart see the sights in the new trailer for Woody Allen‘s Café Society trailer.
-I’m intrigued by the new Jason Bourne trailer (mostly because I don’t think I could have sat through another movie of him need to re-learn about Treadstone all over again). Also, Julia Stiles is back and seems to have a bigger role! That makes me weirdly happy.