-I’m already super bored by all the Justin Bieber crap. Here’s hoping this is the wake-up call he needs. People are covering it way more thoroughly than I care to, but here’s some quick links: his arrest report is full of f-bombs, here’s video of his arrest, he’s hired hired high-profile celeb lawyer Roy Black, his passenger was this model, he hasn’t had a valid driver’s license for six months, Seth Rogen called him “a piece of sh*t,” he’s been released from custody after posting the $2,500 bond, and when he left jail he climbed on top of a car to blow kisses to fans. Oh, and he seemed super happy in his mugshot (and kind of resembles Miley Cyrus).
–Selena Gomez, meanwhile, looks happy to be rid of him.
-This little kid just sassed Karl Lagerfeld, making him my new hero.
–Eva Longoria‘s new show is set in Willowdale, Ontario and she has no idea why.
–Lorde spoke to Rolling Stone about all that gross cyber-bullying surrounding her boyfriend.
–Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan went to a club and broke into a Step Up-ish dance routine. Guys, this is my DREAM! Someday, I just want to be in a random club and then suddenly see Channing do that thing where he jumps up, hooks his shirt on the sprinkler, and wriggles out of it.
-A very self-aware Anne Hathaway just said that she took some time off because she thought “people needed a break from me.”
–Sherri Shepherd has (kind of) apologized for those homophobic comments, which would have seemed a lot more sincere had she not been so clearly reading off cue cards.
–Meet Colin Jost, SNL’s new Weekend Update co-anchor.
-A P.I. hired to investigate the Oscars-eligibility of one of the nominated songs concluded that it should be disqualified, but it remains in the race.
-Broad City, the show produced by Amy Poehler, is getting rave reviews.
-Meanwhile, Adam Scott talks about directing this week’s ep of Parks and Rec.
-Book trailers are a weird new trend, but I like the one for BJ Novak’s. I’m going to Paris next week and plan to model myself off Mindy Kaling in this video.
–Amy Adams looks stunning on the cover of L’Officiel magazine — even though I first mistook her for Cate Blanchett.
-Judging by Ryan Murphy‘s latest tweet, Gwyneth Paltrow and Kristin Chenoweth are returning for Glee’s 100th episode.
–Dean McDermott has entered rehab after allegedly cheating on Tori Spelling, saying “I am truly sorry for the mistakes I have made and for the pain I’ve caused my family.”
–Noel Gallagher really hates his old videos — and the results are hilarious.
-Sorry dreamers, but Jennifer Lawrence is not engaged to Nicholas Hoult.
-After meeting Lena Dunham on the Graham Norton Show, Idris Elba wants to be on Girls. HBO, make this happen!!
–Aaron Paul‘s next career move may be to star in Stephen King’s The Dark Tower, directed by Ron Howard.
–This GIF of Sean Penn playing with Charlize Theron’s son is absolutely terrifying.
-Anyone who saw The Trip remembers the Michael Caine impressions, and the sequel has even more. Love.