-In the new issue of GQ, Drake talks about Chris Brown, saying “I don’t want my name to be synonymous with that guy’s name. I really don’t.” Word.
-Meanwhile, there is a very sketchy report about Rihanna going to treatment for sex addiction to get over Chris Brown. Doubtful, but a lovely thought.
-In other Rihanna news, a trespasser was arrested lurking around her house last night.
-I actually don’t hate the fact that Kim Kardashian and Kanye West called their new daughter Kaidence, but that might be because I initially read a false report that they named her Khrist and I totally believed it.
-Meanwhile, Kim‘s friend Brittny Gastineau says “the baby is beyond beautiful.”
–Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth were pictured together for the first time in five months last night.
-Meanwhile, Miley Cyrus wants everyone to know she’s a stoner — but doesn’t want to actually say “I’m a stoner.”
–Howard Stern was kind of a jerk to Jimmy Fallon last night about the latter’s ability to host The Tonight Show, but being a jerk to Fallon is the talk show equivalent of kicking a puppy. I’d much rather watch Russell Brand’s take-down of some insipid MSNBC hosts. I’m going to try to work “Thank you for your casual objectification” into everything.
–Dan Harmon has apologized for crapping all over Community’s last season. More importantly, he’s apologized for comparing watching the most recent episodes to “being held down and watching your family get raped on a beach.” Can we just retire the “rape” hyperbole that guys keep throwing around once and for all?
-Cool: Defamer is streaming the premiere of Ray Donovan, a new TV show that is getting crazy good buzz.
–Demi Lovato combined a nap with a manicure while in Toronto for the MMVAs. She might actually be a genius.
-The fate of Jennifer Love Hewitt‘s show The Client List is reportedly in the air because her pregnancy is causing lots of backstage drama. She wants it to be written into the show (with her real baby daddy playing her fictional one), while the showrunner is pushing for the guy who plays her brother-in-law to be the main love interest. If only the show were this interesting.
–Hugh Jackman is the rare celebrity who seems to realize that it takes more time and energy to be a jerk than to just treat everyone like a human being.
–Melissa Etheridge said some stupid shit about Angelina Jolie‘s double mastectomy being a “fearful choice.” Her and Brad Pitt used to be really tight, so he deflected the question when asked about it.
–Lil Wayne says that video of him sleeping on an American flag that everyone’s so upset about was actually just a camera trick and he didn’t really do it. So there?
–Amanda Bynes and Wyclef Jean are discussing a potential collaboration. Uh oh.
-After initial denials, Nigella Lawson’s husband Charles Saatchi has admitted to assaulting his wife and accepted a police citation.
–Justin Bieber has been cleared of accusations that he hit a photographer with his car.
–Robert Pattinson gets to mack on a model in his new Dior campaign.
-More proof that Henry Cavill is awesome: he used to walk this woman‘s dog.
–Johnny Depp opens up about his personal life, including his split from Vanessa Paradis and his issues with drinking, in the new issue of Rolling Stone. (It’s adorable that he thinks TMZ is called TLC!)
-His Lone Ranger costar Armie Hammer is also getting in on the overshare action, talking about his “dominant sexual appetite.”
-Here’s our first peek at Matt Damon in Terry Gilliam’s The Zero Theorem.
-In other movie news, the Veronica Mars film started shooting this week.
-I really hope this Scientology documentary airs in North America.
-The new trailer for I Give It a Year is out — looks kind of hilarious.
-I’m also digging the trailer for Touchy Feely, in which Rosemarie DeWitt plays a massage therapist who hates touching people and Ellen Page plays her niece.