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Samantha Bee

Shailene Woodley in InStyle: ” I Think of My Life as a Pie. My Pie is F–king Fine”

shailene-woodley-march-2016-instyle

Shailene Woodley looks fresh-faced and lovely on the new cover of InStyle, in which she describes her dating life using a pretty boss pie metaphor: “I’m very curious to see where my life ends up when it comes to partnership. I always think of my life as a pie. My pie is f–king fine. I’ve got the best pie! It’s so delicious. If you want to add some ice cream and s–t on top, you are welcome to join the party, but you don’t get to take a slice of my pie.”

-In her new Elle story (no, I still haven’t forgiven the terrible cover shot) Brie Larson reveals she hasn’t spoken to her father in 10 years.

-There is no more entertaining Kanye West than Kanye West in full album promotion mode.

-Oh wait — things just took a turn on Kanye’s Twitter feed. I take it all back!

-Scary. According to reports, DMX was found unresponsive by police and resuscitated after nearly dying of a drug overdose last night.

-This is right: Rachel McAdams isn’t hitting the award circuit hard for a win, she’s doing it for momentum. And she’s clearly hired a new stylist. I can’t remember a time she’s had this many fashion hits in a row.

-Oh snap! Ciara just sued Future for $15M for libel and slander.

Matt Lauer kept trying to get Katie Holmes to talk about Tom Cruise, but she (very diplomatically) shut it all down. Someone needs to give her media trainer a raise.

-This week’s Oscar nominee luncheon photo really drives home the diversity problem.

-This is actually pretty great: Sylvester Stallone asked Creed director Ryan Coogler if he should boycott the Oscars.

-Not going to lie: I really needed these photos of Tom Hardy filming a skinny dipping scene today. Bless you, interwebs!
Rose Byrne and Bobby Cannavale (aka – the celeb couple I always forget about but still adore) just welcomed a son.

Gwyneth Paltrow’s stalker of 17 years(!) sounds crazy af.

-CBS just tapped Byran Fuller (Pushing Daisies, Hannibal) as the showrunner for their Star Trek reboot. Colour me intrigued.

Samantha Bee‘s new late-night show debuted last night, and critics are loving it. The bit where she gave Jeb Bush the Werner Herzog-style documentary treatment was priceless.

-Toronto narrowly avoided Roosh V‘s MRA meetup (thanks to the badass bitches of the Toronto Newsgirls Boxing Club), and now Flight of the Conchords star Jemaine Clement expertly trolled him on Twitter. God, that’s beautiful.

-I love that the internet is now obsessed with guessing who Liam Neeson‘s “incredibly famous” new girlfriend is. Charlize TheronKristen Stewart? Nigella Lawson?  This is more intriguing than the last Taken movie…

-The first trailer for Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates is out. Sidenote: Zac Efron needs a new agent.

 

Jennifer Lawrence is Your Entertainer of the Year

Jennifer Lawrence has been named the 2015 Entertainer of the Year by EW.
Jennifer Lawrence has been named the 2015 Entertainer of the Year by EW.

-Entertainment Weekly just named Jennifer Lawrence Entertainer of the Year. Not surprising — and much deserved (I assume it was a close race between her and Chris Pratt). You know what this means, right? The 2015 best-of lists are starting! It really is the most wonderful time of the year…

-Meanwhile, Jennifer Lawrence elevated all of our #squadgoals by hanging out with Adele and Emma Stone last night.

-Usually Ryan Gosling and Brad Pitt standing next to each other would make for a banner day, but their bad hair is too distracting to fully embrace the yum.

-In today’s ‘Hollywood Has Run Out of Ideas’ news: Kevin Bacon will star in a Tremors TV show, and  Tom Cruise is in talks to star in a reboot of The Mummy.

-In other Cruise-adjacent news, Katie Holmes and Jamie Foxx are still a thing, in case anyone cares.

Kaley Cuoco tattooed an ill-advised giant bug on her back to cover up her ill-advised wedding date tattoo.

-A 7-year-old schooled the Star Wars cast on trivia during Jimmy Kimmel‘s last night.

-The best part about THR’s actors roundtable was that it taught me that Mark Ruffalo‘s first acting gig was on Canadian drama Due South!

-Geek gods/awesome human beings Felicia Day and Jonah Ray just signed on to the Mystery Science Theatre 3000 reboot.

-There’s a Friday Night Lights musical happening and Scott Porter is playing Coach and Mae Whitman is publicly petitioning for a part and I need to move to LA right now!

-Apparently the CW has given up on ratings since it’s ordered more Crazy Ex-Girlfriend which has been coming in as low as 0.2 in the demo. (My guess is they just don’t have anything else to pair Jane the Virgin with.) They also ordered more iZombie — but not a full season, which is a shame. That show is like the network version of Jessica Jones (in a good way).

Gwyneth Paltrow‘s kids get to eat at places like The Lion on the regular and now I hate my life.

Sherri Shepherd has been ordered to keep paying child support for the baby she had via surrogate — even though she wants nothing to do with the child and claims her ex only went ahead with the pregnancy plans to wring money out of her. Ugh, that poor kid.

Justin Bieber has pulled out of a series of appearances this week due to “personal reasons.”

-I really like Sepinwall’s new article on the advantage of episodes vs. serialization on TV.

-Set your DVRs: Robert Downey Jr and Chris Evans will assemble on Jimmy Kimmel tonight.

-I’m not gonna lie; I spent way too much time examining Kylie Jenner’s face in the first photo of this feature.

-This is a great piece on season 2 of The Leftovers, which has somehow managed to win me back after I gave up on the first season by getting really, really weird. As the writer of this piece tweeted, it’s like they said “What if Lost could be super weird & fucked up & not write to act breaks & not worry about ratings?”

-I didn’t even know Samantha Bee had a new show coming out but I’m so in!

Adam Pally plays house with an unstable one-night stand in the Night Owls trailer.