Browsing Tag

Liz & Dick

Angus T. Jones Begs Us to Not Watch Two and a Half Men. Done!

-In a new video about religion (I think?), Two and a Half Men star Angus T. Jones calls the show “filth” and urges you to stop watching it. It’s strange; he wasn’t complaining when he became the highest paid child star in TV, earning $300k per ep with a $500k signing bonus during contract negotiations in 2010.

-In case you missed the national tragedy that was Liz & Dick, Gawker has put together a supercut of Lindsay Lohan’s worst moments.

-Meanwhile, Lilo is reportedly “devastated” by the vicious reviews. What did she expect?! I’ve seen better emoting from a coffee pot.

-In happier(?) Lindsay news, Charlie Sheen reportedly gave her $100k to pay off her tax bills.

-In case you somehow weren’t convinced that Channing Tatum is a stand-up guy, Joseph Gordon-Levitt revealed that he got supportive emails from the Magic Mike star when JGL was spoofing him on SNL.

–Beyonce is going to direct her own biography. Is there nothing she can’t do?!

–Blake Lively‘s wedding photos won’t hit newsstands until Dec. 24. On the plus side, now you have something to distract you from the family drama.

–Chris Brown deleted his Twitter count, but not before throwing some truly horrific remarks a comedienne’s way. And now his followers are sending her death threats ’cause stupid breeds stupid.

-In other depressing Chris Brown news, Rihanna tweeted a picture on Saturday of him on her bed.

-Speaking of Rihanna, I really liked this article on the promotion of her latest album. “You wonder if anyone’s made sure that Rihanna is OK.” Word.

–Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes spent a cuddly Thanksgiving in NYC.

–Andrew W.K. has been appointed the U.S. cultural ambassador to Bahrain. No, really. (Oh crap. The State Dept. just announced they’re backing out of the arrangement. Killjoys.)

–Justin Bieber doesn’t like it when you imply he’s white trash for wearing overalls to meet the prime minister, mmm-kay?

-In case you ever wanted to see Justin get punched in the face, it’s your lucky day (sorta).

–Cee-Lo Green has a new Christmas video (boo!) but it features Muppets (yay!).

-In a new interview, Oprah reveals a recent breast cancer scare and says she may shut down her magazine because she “hates bleeding money.”

–Lea Michele spent Thanksgiving snowboarding in Whistler with Cory Monteith.

-Meanwhile, Lea looks fab in the new issue of Flare.

-Speaking of glamorous photo shoots, check out little Abigail Breslin looking all grown up!

–Demi Lovato just got a huge new tattoo (or 12 little ones, depending on how you look at it.)

-This is supposedly Amanda Bynes. No word why she’d dressed like Fergie during her chola/Wild Orchid days.

-If someone had to team up to sing about cockroach sex, I guess I’m glad it’s Iggy Pop and Ke$ha.

–The Walking Dead‘s Norman Reedus (Daryl) is 45? Crazypants! He’s still hot — and still has great taste in music.

-A new Les Mis trailer has landed. Also, early reviews are trickling in and they are beyond gushing. Yay!

Recap: Liz & Dick

Grant Bowler and Lindsay Lohan in Liz & Dick. (Lifetime)
Grant Bowler and Lindsay Lohan in Liz & Dick. (Lifetime)

Nicole and I watched Lifetime’s Liz & Dick live while playing Go Fug Yourself’s drinking game. The results were – much like the movie – not pretty. Below is our IM conversation:

Nicole: I’m ready with my bottle of Sibling Rivalry wine.

Jen: Nice – I’m drinking an aptly named gamay nouveau called The Fool.

Nicole: “Based on a true story”… I’m already laughing.

Jen: Grant Bowler used to be on a cheesy New Zealand soap called Adrenalin Junkies. I never would’ve guessed that’d be his career high.

Nicole: Lindsay’s mole is going to KILL me.

Jen: Oh sweet Jesus, is she trying an accent?!

Nicole: It’s more like too much enunciation.

Jen: First drink! “Lilo’s eye makeup is more compelling than her acting.” And now take another drink because they just mentioned the paparazzi.

Nicole: And he quoted Shakespeare. We need to drink whenever “Grant Bowler is forced to quote Shakespeare, Donne, or anyone else you’d have read in English 101, because RICHARD BURTON IS OF THE STAGE!!!!”

Jen: Elizabeth Taylor had a high voice. Lilo sounds like she woke up and immediately pounded 3 packs of cigarettes.

Nicole: There’s a drink cart in this scene. Drink!

Jen: Lilo is playing someone who knows her lines better than her costars. I can’t suspend my disbelief this much.

Nicole: She’s wearing a head scarf. Drink!

Jen: Dammit – I almost need to refill my glass already and we’re only 11 mins in!

Nicole: It’s lovely that she’s actually grinding him while shooting the Cleopatra sex scene.

Jen: Ha! The Fug Girls just tweeted, “I love that these two are stunned STUNNED that Antony and Cleopatra have a love scene. SPOILER!!!”

Nicole: I’m super worried that I’m going to see Richard’s lady parts in his Antony costume. Those are short skirts!

Jen: That might actually make this movie better.

Nicole: Drink! Paparazzi mention!

Jen: IT’S CREED FROM THE OFFICE! Why is he in this movie?!

Nicole: Her dress is gorg. Purse too. But I wonder if she tried to steal that necklace her character just got?

Jen: Damn, he just quoted John Dunne AND Coleridge! Drink.

Nicole: And now he’s wearing a toga. Drink.

Jen: So much drinking already….

Nicole: We are super good at this!

Jen: She just gave him a John Donne book. Was this movie financed by Donne’s estate?

Nicole: There’s another drink cart. Drink.

Jen: I’m only going to refer to Lilo as “Dumpy” from now on.

Nicole: And yet another drink cart. Drink.

Jen: Ewww! Richard just said, “I don’t need the pool. I’ve got a whole ocean in you.”

Nicole: Fur hat AND throwing glass AND drink cart. So much drinking to do…

Jen: This movie jumps around so much it feels like it’s been edited by a blind guy on meth.

Nicole: Who wrote this!?!

Jen: Don’t know, but I can’t imagine anyone actually admitting to it.

Nicole: I’m good until the next commercial break, then I’m quitting this show. I’Il never survive the whole thing.

Jen: I would too but I just can’t look away!!

Nicole: Richard is Welsh? That’s the accent he’s supposed to be doing?!

Jen: I guess. Dumpy looks so bloaty in the flash-forward scenes.

Nicole: I wish gloves would be a thing again.

Jen: I really hope Lilo stole her entire wardrobe from the set.

Nicole: The paps are back. Drink!

Jen: Is it wrong that I want to see Dumpy attempt Hamlet?

Nicole: I want to see Slut on a Hot Tin Roof.

Jen: Turban – drink!

Nicole: Another scene, another turban. Drink!

Jen: She really does look great in this movie but I’m drinking so much, the TV screen’s getting blurry.

Nicole: Obvs. You just said she looks great.

Jen: Steve from Sex and the City just showed up!

Nicole: Oh, poor Steve!

Jen: I’m toasting his career downturn.

Nicole: Did Richard just call Liz a “butterball”?

Jen: Yeah, I’m getting a body complex just listening to him.

Nicole: Where did all these children climbing on the bed come from?

Jen: I really hope they’re all theirs. They might have just drunkenly stole some kids one night.

Nicole: It’s like the Von Trapps.

Jen: Head scarf. Drink!

Nicole: And yet another head scarf. Drink!

Jen: So they’re supposed to be fat now? They look exactly the same. Were there no fat suits in the wardrobe budget?

Nicole: That’s it; I’m out. I can’t take anymore.

Jen: It’s almost over. I just can’t stop.

Nicole: Oh dear. Good luck!

Jen: There’s 25 minutes left, which works out to only about 75 more sips for me. Yay!

Critics Slam Lindsay Lohan in Liz & Dick

Lindsay Lohan in Liz & Dick
Lindsay Lohan in Liz & Dick. (Lifetime/Adam Taylor)

-I’m pretty sure reading the hilariously scathing reviews of Liz & Dick will be far more fun than sitting through the actual movie. Critics are going pretty balls-out with their hatred of Lindsay Lohan‘s performance.

-Meanwhile, can we talk about the dress Lindsay wore to the Liz & Dick premiere?  Not that we should expect greatness from any realm of her life at this point, but she’s entered Courtney Stodden territory with this one.

-Speaking of premiere dresses, Jessica Biel wore not one but two to the Hitchcock screener. Both were meh — but that didn’t stop Helen Mirren from copping a feel.

–Rihanna lost it on her crew in London when she was experiencing some sound problems. Despite the divaocity, at least she appeared to be singing live which — from what I’ve heard from those at her TO show last week — isn’t always a given.

-In news that should surprise absolutely no one, Chevy Chase is leaving Community. Here’s how Jezebel reported it: “In great news because he’s an unfunny racist idiot, Chevy Chase is exiting the cast of Community and joining a commune of other hacks who have perennial bitch-face.” Yup, that pretty much sums it up.

–Kimora Lee Simmons and Djimon Hounsou have split after nearly six years of marriage. I remember watching him in this Janet Jackson video when I was a wee one and getting all tingly and confused.

-In other split news, Mayim Bialik and her hubby are divorcing after nine years of marriage.

-It’s possible I rewatched this Breaking Bad Thanksgiving parody more times than is socially acceptable.

–Twilight star Jackson Rathbone says he has a giant tattoo of a ketchup bottle on his leg because, um, he just really likes ketchup, k?

–Susan Boyle’s people thought it would be a great idea to promote her new album on Twitter using the hashtag #susanalbumparty — which began trending worldwide after everyone saw it as Su’s Anal Bum Party. Whoopsie!

–Sandra Bullock‘s ex Jesse James somehow convinced another girl to accept his marriage proposal. And this one’s a heiress!

-Noomi Rapace makes a whole lotta costume changes in the new Rolling Stone music video.

-I don’t think I’ve ever, ever sided with the paparazzi on anything, but this video of Justin Bieber holding up three lanes of traffic to scold one is unbelievable (unbeliebable?)

-I love the leather collar on Katie Holmes‘ coat in this picture.

–Amy Poehler and David Letterman shared a smooch on Late Night last night.

–Amanda Bynes got angry when she thought some girls sitting nearby at a nightclub were sneaking photos of her — but the girls didn’t even notice her because, you know, she’s Amanda Bynes.

–Jennifer Lawrence‘s adorable promo tour continues. Here she is telling Ellen about how her mom stole her Oscar ballot.

-Check out the trailer for Admission, starring Tina Fey and Paul Rudd. I didn’t know this was happening, and yet I wonder how we’ve lived so long without it?