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Arrow

Jennifer Aniston’s Office Party

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-I have a lot of thoughts about EW’s new cover photo, mostly on how I can’t believe TJ Miller nabbed the centre spot instead of Jennifer Aniston, and how embarrassed I am for Courtney B Vance…

–Kanye West is reportedly “very happy” to be out of the hospital more than a week after checking in for extreme exhaustion.

–Johnny Depp will finally pay Amber Heard’s divorce settlement. How nice of him.

-This is a really, really good piece about how we need to talk about Casey Affleck. I really want to see Manchester By The Sea, but the sexual assault allegations against him give me pause. It’s the reason I refused to see Birth of a Nation. But Nate Parker got dragged by the media, while no one’s really mentioning Affleck‘s court settlement.

–Andrew Garfield says that if he were stranding on a desert island, he’d want ex-girlfriend Emma Stone with him.

–Mariah Carey packed on the PDA with backup dancer Bryan Tanaka in Hawaii. Is this because she’s trying to get us to watch her new docuseries? ‘Cause it’s totally working!

-Lifetime is doing a Britney Spears/Justin Timberlake biopic, and the actors they cast look terrible. Which means I’m going to watch the crap out of it.

–Amy Sherman-Palladino says in the Gilmore Girls revival, Rory made all those transatlantic flights on points. That’s…not a thing.

-If Katy Perry is preggo (and I doubt she is), this is a weird ass way to announce it.

-Jurassic World 2 director Colin Trevorrow is making sure everyone knows that he’ll be putting Bryce Dallas Howard in practical footwear this time around.

–Chris Pratt is cropping Jennifer Lawrence out of all his photos, which is all kinds of hilarious.

-CW’s crossover week continues. The ratings from Arrow’s excellent 100th episode doubled from last week and beat Supergirl’s crossover.

-The full Hamilton mixtape has dropped!

–James Corden threw food at Jessica Alba and Kate Mara to see if they’d flinch. Spoiler alert: they did.

–Tom Cruise tries to convince us mummies are real in the first footage from The Mummy.

Chris Pratt Opens Up on His Father’s Death

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-In his Britsh GQ cover story, Chris Pratt talks about his father’s death: “There are wounds that are never going to be totally healed.”

-Also sad: Michelle Williams opens up about raising her daughter without Heath Ledger: ‘It just won’t ever be right’ *sob*

–Mariah Carey eats two things, and only two things: Norwegian salmon and capers. As if that wasn’t perfect enough, the fact that she specifies “Norwegian” puts it over the edge. Bless her.

–Amanda Seyfried is pregnant. Well, well, well.

–Dolly Parton and her goddaughter Miley Cyrus sang ‘Jolene’ on The Voice last night, and it was pretty great.

–Stephen Amell’s reaction to the Arrow cast doing the mannequin challenge is perfection.

-Meanwhile, The Flash part of the crossover delivered the show its largest audience in two years. Which is great because I loved it — mostly because everyone dragged Barry.

-I haven’t watched Survivor in decades but this is pretty great and inspiring.

-Gossip Girl’s Penn Badgley is looking nothing like the lonely boy we all remember.

–Jennifer Aniston explained to Ellen why she wrote that anti-tabloid op-ed, saying she was fed up by “disgustingly objectifying” paparazzi photos. Ok…but…wait…what?!

–Erika Christensen introducing her Parenthood TV husband to her new daughter is giving me all the feels.

-Speaking of Parenthood-y feels, did you watch This Is Us’ touching Jack/Randall push-up scene last night? The cast recreated it IRL — and it’s way hotter.

-This is a great piece on how all the major broadcast networks (except the CW) opting out of the TCAs’ exec sessions proves they’re in more trouble than we realized. This is my favourite part: “[Being a broadcast network] doesn’t mean you automatically get the biggest piece of the pie, viewers and ratings-wise. Americans are absolutely bloated with pie. They may stick a finger in yours and have a tiny taste but they are never, ever – and this is important so pay attention – going to put all their forks down and just eat your pie every week.”

-In case you missed Lin-Manuel Miranda‘s Drunk History episode last night (shame!) here’s the best parts — in gif form.

-Meanwhile, here is Lin-Manuel Miranda and Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson‘s musical about millennials.

-I’ve been wanting Jennifer Lawrence to ditch Dior forever, but I actually like this look from Maria Grazia Chiuri’s first collection.

-Are people seriously body-shaming the woman who plays Tara on The Walking Dead? She just had a baby! And even if she didn’t, that’s still gross.

–Cher, Mark Ruffalo, and more celebrities ring the alarm about global warming in the trailer for the new documentary In This Climate.

–Megan Markle’s new movie trailer suddenly has a lot more people interested in it. I wonder why?

Can Superheroes Save Us? Please?!

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-Today is a pretty crappy day, but EW releasing a CW superheroes cover makes it *slightly* less of a vortex of suck.

-Hollywood reacted to the election on Twitter. (Spoiler alert: famous people are bummed too.)  Except for Azealia Banks, who continues to be a garbage person.

–Michael Moore warned us all.

-At least Danielle Moodie-Mills’ amazing commentary during CBC’s election coverage has gone viral.

-ABC used last night’s mass meltdown to quietly drop the news that it has cancelled Conviction. It was a terrible show, but I feel bad for Hayley Atwell (who I saw yesterday on her way to the Toronto set — guess that won’t be happening anymore.)

-In happier news, The Hollywood Reporter released its 23rd annual Next Gen list. I don’t know most of these people. I’m old.

-Here is a photo of Idris Elba wearing the hell out of peacoat. It’s like he knew we’d need this today.

-Well, this sucks. The cute little kid from Lion (who is far and away the best thing about that movie) has been denied a visa to attend the LA and NYC premieres.

–Mariah Carey and James Packer‘s prenup sounded super romantic: “No item of jewelry and/or personal adornment costing over $250,000 will be deemed a gift unless accompanied by, or promptly followed by, a writing specifically stating, ‘This is my gift to you.'”

-I chat about Prince Harry‘s smackdown of the UK press in today’s Toronto Star.

–Eddie Redmayne says he ruined his Kylo Ren audition because he just couldn’t stop himself from using a ridiculous Darth Vader voice. (“I was trying again and again with different versions of my kind of “koohh paaaah” [Darth Vader breathing sound] voice. And after like ten shots she’s like, “You got anything else?” I was like, “No.”)

-I only got 41/50 on Vulture’s Gilmore Girls superfan quiz and I don’t even know who I am anymore.

-A legal expert tries to explain  Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie‘s custody battle strategies.

-Not surprisingly, Kanye West reportedly remains protective of Kim Kardashian and doesn’t want her to rush back into the public eye after her ordeal.

–Charlize Theron says Hollywood ageism is just a “cliche,” saying “Now that I’m 41 I work much more than 20 years ago.” Well, isn’t that nice for her?

-Am I the only one who’s spent an inordinate amount of time today watching Coach Taylor and Buffy inspirational speeches?