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–Kelly Clarkson got married yesterday and she’s sharing photos from the ceremony — but not in the pages of a glossy. She’s doing it all on social media, which I love.
-Speaking of social shares, Beyonce posted a photo of herself posing topless in a hammock, just in case you forgot for a second that she’s better than you in every possible way.
-Are Heidi Klum and Seal reuniting, or are they just kissing because they’re European?
–Cee Lo Green has been cleared of those sexual assault charges, but will be charged with the felony of giving ecstasy to a 33-year-old woman.
-I didn’t know that Tom Hiddleston is known for his Owen Wilson impression, but now I can’t get enough of it. He also did Samuel L. Jackson as Loki, because apparently he’ll do whatever you ask.
-An old video has surfaced of Britney Spears‘ microphone track isolated during a 2001 concert, and everyone’s shocked — shocked! — at how bad she sounds. I’m only shocked that they turned on her mic at all.
-Cleanse your eargrapes with Taylor Swift’s new single, with is a delightful slice of 80s bubblegum pop. Get ready to secretly sing this in the shower while insisting on Twitter that it’s THE WORST!
-Meanwhile, Taylor was spotted at dinner with costars Alexander Skarsgard and Katie Holmes.
–Mischa Barton says the Beastie Boys gave her her nickname: Baby Dragon. As in ‘chasing the…’?
–Scott Porter posted a photo of a mini–Friday Night Lights reunion yesterday. Full hearts, indeed!
–Morrissey denied he’s gay, instead declaring himself ‘humasexual’ in very Morrissey-ish statement. How cool would it have been if he’d just said, “I am human and I need to be loved, just like everybody else does”?
–Adrian Grenier used Instagram to hit back at Mark Wahlberg’s claims that “greedy” people were holding up the Entourage movie.
–Anne Hathaway resurfaced after a break from public appearances — and she didn’t exactly knock it out of the park.
There’s been a lot of amazing retrospectives posted today on Elliot Smith‘s career, but this one’s my fave. Excuse me, I have to go sob in a corner now…
-Talking about his marriage, Michael Douglas says “Things are great.” Catherine Zeta-Jones remains conspicuously mum.
-NBC has quietly put Parks and Recreation on hiatus for most of the rest of the year. But…but…it’s their highest rated comedy! And how are we supposed to ever find out what these costumes mean now!?
–Colin Farrell turned down an offer of $5 million to release his sex tape.
-Not that I’m ever going to see it anyway, but I really like the idea of Jamie Dornan playing Christian in Fifty Shades of Grey. He was the reason I watched all of The Fall (that, and Gillian Anderson‘s shaky British accent).
-Boy Meets World’s Topanga and Shawn got married this weekend. Sadly, it was not to each other.
–Johnny Depp as a blonde is really not working for me… Maybe it’s for his new role in Mortdecai, which he just started filming with Gwyneth Paltrow.
-Speaking of Depp, his girlfriend Amber Heard reportedly threw a tantrum on set. Man, she just gets better and better, huh?
–LeAnn Rimes is joking about being a homewrecker, ’cause she’s classy like that.
-Ok, Jason Segel. We get it; you can lose weight. Please stop now.
–Billy Bob Thorton claims Angelina Jolie was jealous of his sex scene with Halle Berry in Monster’s Ball.
-I fully endorse this celebrity name pronunciation guide! I had to say Saoirse Ronan‘s name on camera once and it made my brain cry.
–Benedict Cumberbatch is probably out of the Oscar race, thanks to the stinkbomb The Fifth Estate left at the weekend box office. Here he is filming a new movie with Keira Knightley.
-Here’s another new Arcade Fire song, “Afterlife.” Me likey!
–Rihanna was kicked out of a mosque courtyard in Abu Dhabi during a photoshoot. She followed it up by posting a photo from her bathtub, ’cause why not?
-The new Garfunkel and Oates’ video made me laugh. “Sports go sports!”
-Also tickling my funnybone on YouTube today: this Edgar Allan Poe vlog.
-The report originates from Radar Online so take it with a grain of salt, but I love the idea of Anna Wintour aggressively pursuing Lena Dunham for the cover of Vogue.
-Has Idris Elba really signed on for Jurassic World? Say it ain’t so!
-The first trailer for Belle has landed. This was one of my TIFF favourites this year.
