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Mila Kunis

Margot Robbie Gets Creepily Profiled by Vanity Fair

margot-robbie-bikini-vanity-fair

-The new Vanity Fair cover story on Margot Robbie is so fawning and male gaze-y, I actually feel bad for her. From the nonsensical opening paragraph (“She is tall but only with the help of certain shoes”) to the unintentionally sexual flourishes (“The job of the celebrity journalist: peg ‘em so it’s not only as if you know ’em but always have known ’em or someone just like ’em. But Robbie is too fresh to be pegged”) to the weird transitions (“We sat for a moment in silence. She was thinking of something; I was thinking of something else”), it’s no wonder the internet is tearing it apart piece by superfluous piece. Not surprisingly, it’s from the same author who wrote that atrocious Nic Pizzolatto profile last year.

-At least he’s not lying about the fact that she’s only 26.

-Speaking of cover stories, Gwen Stefani opens up about her discovery of Gavin Rossdale‘s rumoured affair with the nanny in the new Harper’s Bazaar.  She says she found out the day after the Grammy Awards. “It was the beginning of hell. Like six, seven, eight months of torture, trying to figure out this big secret” and adds “All I wanted my whole life was to have babies, be married, like what my parents have”.

-This is fascinating: Jezebel polled some publicists to see if they think the Taylor Swift/Tom Hiddleston romance is fake. (I want to read an entire memoir written by that third publicist, since her whole quote is basically the embodiment of the fire emoji.)

Francis Bean‘s short-lived marriage may have cost her the guitar her dad played during Nirvana’s Unplugged appearance.

-To prep for its big move from CBS to the CW, Supergirl’s first season will re-air starting in August. It wasn’t for me, but the more eyeballs on female superhero shows, the better.

Stephen Colbert‘s story about meeting his wife will make you swoony.

Jesse Williams is vacationing with his Grey’s costar Ellen Pompeo, and she shared an adorable video of him pushing her off a paddle board.

-Also, even though he’s on holiday, Jesse’s still woke.

-Another day, another story about Louis CK being the exact opposite of how we all hope he is. ::sad face::

Mila Kunis looks lovely in her makeup-free shots Glamour magazine. I mean, if I was a rich 32-year-old I’d probably have dewy skin too, but still.

Conan O’Brien and Timothy Olyphant prove “TV’s a lie” in this scrapped clip.

Alex Kingston has joined the Gilmore Girls revival, which makes me very happy.

-Nothing really happens in the first trailer for FX’s new show Wake Up, but it stars Donald Glover so I’m already in the bag for it.

Kim Kardashian Talks Taylor Swift, OJ Simpson

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-Despite my disdain for all things Kim Kardashian, I do find her interviews to be fascinating. Ignore all the nipple shots in her latest GQ cover story and focus on the juicy tidbits — like how the interviewer can barely sit through a 2-minute mind-numbing phone call between her and Kanye, or how she casually mentions that she went through the bag her dad removed from OJ Simpson‘s home during his arrest and that she didn’t find a murder weapon, or how Taylor Swift‘s rep drops the ultimate clapback statement: “Taylor does not hold anything against Kim Kardashian as she recognizes the pressure Kim must be under…Taylor cannot understand why Kanye West, and now Kim Kardashian, will not just leave her alone.” Jesus Christ, that’s good.

-And of course, immediately there’s rants about why we’re dumb to care about this cover story and celebrity culture in general. Luckily, there’s also already some thoughtful replies.

-Speaking of the Kardashians, OJ Simpson is reportedly ready to take a paternity test for Khloe.

-Why yes, GOOP. I *would* like to take a peek inside Gwyneth Paltrow’s NYC apartment! The photos are so nice that it almost makes up for the fact that they used the word ‘artisinal’ twice in the first sentence– or that elsewhere in this week’s edition she recommends $70 shampoo.

-Also, I’m a gonna need someone to explain Gwynie’s latest outfit to me.

-Congrats to Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis, who are expecting baby No. 2.

-What we didn’t see in the Red Hot Chili Peppers edition of Carpool Karaoke: Anthony Kiedis helped save a baby.

Spice Girls might replace Sporty and Posh on tour? Someone hug Emma Stone.

-In China, Warcraft isn’t just doing better than it did in the U.S; it’s breaking records. Which means that movies can now be total flops domestically — and studios won’t care.

David Duchovny says he knows the X-Files revival’s problem was: there was not enough of it. Um yeah, that wasn’t it.

-Who’s winning the Scott Wars: Scott Foley or Scott Speedman? #TeamBen

Stephen Colbert made a life-size Liam Hemsworth “doll” for you to admire, but it’s not for sex!

-Someone actually found a use for Spencer Pratt: employing the expertise he gained from his gross, PR-hungry life to comment on staged photo ops. It’s actually pretty insightful.  “That’s Angelina-Brad Pitt 1998-type shit.”

-Meanwhile, The Sun reporter who wrote the Taylor/Tom story insists the pics aren’t staged.
-Guys, I just found out about the Taylor Swift conspiracy ring that’s convinced she’s secretly gay and now I want to read about nothing but this forever.

-Supergirl has just found their new Superman: Tyler Hoechlin. I have a friend who tried to convince me to watch Teen Wolf based solely on this guy. I…did not.

-I like Amy Schumer’s Vogue cover way better than her Vanity Fair cover. (Speaking of Amy, I’ve been catching up on her show and watched one yesterday that featured Jake Gyllenhaal, Josh Charles AND Sam Rockwell. If I had fame, that’s exactly what I would be using it for as well.)

-Meanwhile, Anna Wintour traded jobs with Amy Schumer in a new Vogue.com video.

Lin Manuel Miranda just launched a merchandise site to support the victims of Orlando. Also, he confirmed that he’s leaving Hamilton in July but tweeted: “We’re filming the original cast before I go. WE GOT YOU.”

-Early reviews suggest the new season of OITNB starts off rough, but pays off in its second half.

-Good Morning America had footage from the Ugly Betty cast reunion and it was awesome!

Orphan Black is ending. But we already knew that it was only supposed to run for five seasons … but I was worried the network would try to bleed it dry. I’m trying to watch this season and even though it’s better than last, I still have no freakin’ idea what’s going on.

-She may be the thirstiest celeb, but I kind of want to hang with Emilia Clarke. Probably because of that.

-This teaser for Pixar’s newest short is beyond adorable.

-God bless The Toast for giving us a ‘If Oscar Isaac Was Your Boyfriend’ article before shutting down. I don’t know why, but this is the part that got me right in the heart guts: “If Oscar Isaac were your boyfriend, sometimes he’d jokingly call you his ‘problematic fave.'”

Jamie Dornan and Cillian Murphy are in a new movie together and I don’t even care about the plot so I’m just gonna watch this trailer on mute, k?

Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher Got Married

Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher in That 70s Show. (Fox)
Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher in That 70s Show. (Fox)

Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher had a surprise wedding this weekend. (Well, surprise to us. One assumes they were in the loop.) They were reportedly already legally married and threw the wedding to celebrate with their family and friends.

-Estranged marrieds Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner spent their vacation in the Bahamas together alternating between being “cordial to each other” and “just staring off into space.” Fun!

-Ben’s camp is also putting out fires when it comes to rumours of him and Margot Robbie on the set of Suicide Squad.

-Also Ben, do you really think this is the best time in your life to be slamming Marvel movies? I mean, really?

Taylor Swift had the most photographic 4th of July ever. I feel like I could never truly be friends with her because I wouldn’t have the patience to deal with her Instagram shot-staging. (And clearly, that’s the only thing stopping our BFFdom…)

-Here come the Parks and Rec feels! Amy Poehler, Rashida Jones and Rob Lowe spent the long weekend together.

-There’s something perversely wonderful about Drew Barrymore being on the cover of Hamptons Magazine.

Hugh Jackman‘s wife says that she forbids him from working with Angelina Jolie because she’s afraid they’ll hook up, is met with the world’s collective raised eyebrow…

-Following all those cheating rumoursKourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick have called it quits.

-Ugh. In her new Cosmo cover story, Sarah Jessica Parker says she’s not a feminist, she’s a “humanist.”

-I’m so glad UnREAL got renewed (even if it makes zero sense from a ratings/business viewpoint.) It’s great.

-I liked this article on Channing Tatum’s evolution from a perceived ‘dull beefcake dude’ to a movie star loved by both men and women. (Though anyone who ever thought he was dull just wasn’t reading the right interviews. Remember the time he took a GQ reporter to a stranger’s house, a bar, and a jail before they camped outside in their Snuggies?)

-Speaking of Channing,I’m not sure about Variety’s positioning of the female gaze being somehow subversive now, but this is a great take on Magic Mike XXL. “Is that what it’s like to be a straight man looking at most media? No wonder so many of them are resistant to changing that.”

-Oh god. There’s a blog dedicated to Amal Clooney’s style. Goodbye, free time! I wasn’t using you productively anyway.

-Speaking of time-wasters, the ATX Festival just posted the video of the Dawson’s Creek live-readMae Whitman played Dawson, Suits’ Patrick J. Adams played Joey, Orphan Black’s Kristian Bruun was Bess, and Kerr Smith acted as Jen.

-If it were any other show, I’d be pumped at news that Jeffrey Dean Morgan was joining the cast. But seeing as The Good Wife had no idea what to do with the delicious cinnamon roll that is Matthew Goode, I’m not hopeful about this news.

-The latest Ant-Man trailer isn’t afraid to name-drop The Avengers. Smart.