–Channing Tatum makes a terrifying Winnie the Pooh. Still hot, though.
-I need someone to explain everything about these photos of Chris Martin and his new GF dancing in the street. Are these candid? ‘Cause in one shot it looks like he’s even looking at the camera. Who IS he right now?!
-Does Fox have a leak on its hands? A new X Files promo appeared on YouTube this afternoon. And then another. And another. And another. They still have stock image watermarks and production notes on them, so this clearly wasn’t supposed to happen.
–Anthony Mackie says he was just joking when he said he endorsed Trump, so I guess he can go back to being our fake boyfriend again. Whew! That fake breakup was going to be messy AF.
-This is pretty great: Bradley Cooper says he’s going to team up with his female costars for negotiations before the film goes into production.
-The Royal We (my favourite beach read this summer) is being turned into a movie by Parenthood costars Lauren Graham and Mae Whitman. They haven’t even started yet and already this is the best adaptation in the history of cinema!
–John Oliver knowingly broke a Canadian law last night by telling us all not to vote for Harper, but he won’t be going to jail for it.
-Tabloids are reporting that Sean Penn and Madonna are hooking up again but I’m considering the source (and crossing my fingers and toes that it isn’t true).
-I usually find the video content that accompanies magazine interviews pretty eyeroll-inducing, but Anna Kendrick’s shower thoughts are great. There are some real gems here, including “They should announce a sequel to Groundhog Day, and then just re-release the original” and “I wonder what my dog named me?”
-We now have photographic evidence that the Absolutely Fabulous movie is finally happening.
–Gwen Stefani is shutting down those Blake Shelton romance rumors. (Can she also shut down those rumours about how she’s reluctant to jump into a relationship and have more kids? I don’t know why her being 46 doesn’t seem to be enough to do that…)
-Meanwhile, let’s all listen to Gwen Stefani’s sad new single and infer connections that probably aren’t there.
-Goddamit, Adam Levine is being so cute with this little girl and it’s giving me a lot of conflicting feelings…
-For those people who felt a little icky about that recent Tina Fey clip from Billy on the Street, watch America Ferrera try to name white actors in her new parody of it.
-Lainey dubbing Ben Affleck‘s new look “Karma Face” just slayed me. I’m dead.
-Hmmm…speaking of Lainey, here’s her new blind item.
-Hmmm…Amanda Seyfried‘s Broadway costar just split from his wife.
-It’s weird that I don’t immediately love a CW show (I KNOW!!) but I’m not sold on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend yet. But I am going to give it another episode based solely on this song about getting ready to go out, if only because they snuck the words “ass blood” past the network censors, and because I’ve never seen a stomach like that on broadcast TV. She looks like an actual human woman!
–Adele just previewed a snippet of a new song and I need more!
-I hope Project Greenlight turns Effie Brown into a household name.
-Everyone is raving about The Revenant. Like, raving about it. I’ve watched the new trailer a couple of times now. I…don’t get it.