-In her new Harper’s Bazaar cover story, Natalie Portman says she asked Cate Blanchett advise about being a parent. (Smart move. If I were friends with Cate Blanchett, I’d allow her to dictate my entire life.) She also says she’s sick about fielding politically-fraught questions from journalists about the Middle East since shooting her directorial debut in Israel. “I’m like ‘Can you please just ask me about my dress? Let’s just talk about the dress!'”
–Giuliana Rancic is leaving E! News. But who’s going to man the mani-cam?!
–Margo Martindale just joined The Good Wife. Sigh. Just when I think I’m out, they pull me back in.
–Jake Gyllenhaal just gave another dour interview, this time for Details. How does this keep happening? He always brings his A-game for Ellen. I saw him on a panel with Denis Villeneuve last year and he was knee-bucklingly swoon-worthy. And when I was on the subway last week listening to the part of Starlee Kine’s Mystery Show podcast where he called in to discuss his oft-debated height, he was so cute and flirty that I legit wondered if he was trying to BLUSH ME TO DEATH. (If you don’t have time to listen to the whole podcast, gird your ovaries and start at 27:20). So why are his print interviews such downers? Which profile writer burned him in the past? Does he need to borrow my voodoo doll?
-I don’t know what’s weirder: that Kristen Stewart and Kanye West hung out together at Paris Couture Week, or that someone managed to snap a photo in which neither of them look totally miserable.
-I’m glad that Joshua Jackson and Diane Kruger are still packing on the PDA, but her arm is really scaring me in this photo. For the love of cupcakes, please let it be just a bad angle.
–Michael Douglas took a break from yelling at kids to get off his lawn to blame social media for American actors losing movie roles.
-Have you watched Review yet? My brother and I binged the first season over the holidays and laughed our asses off. (It also led to a lot of exchanges that started with “This certainly is an upsetting number of pancakes.”) The season 2 trailer just landed, and one of the things he’s assigned to review is glory holes. I’m dead.
–Patti LuPone stole someone’s cell phone in the middle of a Broadway performance for texting because she’s a goddamn boss.
-I would like more videos of the Arrow cast challenging each other to try out the salmon ladder. This doesn’t seem like too much of an ask.
–Key & Peele’s show returned last night with a feminist pirate song. It was glorious.
-The best thing about this oral history of the wedding scene in Clueless is when Paul Rudd talks about the final kiss. “I sound like a total perv.”
–Ben Affleck is not only in Jennifer Garner‘s dog house, he’s also in her guest house.
-Here’s the first trailer for Brooklyn starring Saoirse Ronan, which got raves at Sundance. Nick Hornby wrote the screenplay so I’m in ’cause we’re BFFs. Well, not really. But once I talked to him while really drunk and he gave me his quill, so that’s gotta count for something.