-Why is Mariah Carey taking photos in the bathtub? And who did she ask to take that second one? And what does any of this have to do with her new music? Guys, I’m so confused.
-How awesome is it that Michelle Obama is on not one, but two magazine covers this month?
–Shailene Woodley is getting a lot of flack for nixing the Divergent TV seriesby saying “I didn’t sign up to be in a TV show.” But…she’s not wrong.
-The tabloids have a lot of ideas about what led to Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston‘s breakup.
–Taylor Swift has had a rough week but she Facetimed a dying fan so we should probably all give her a break.
-This is a great segment from Trevor Noah wondering why Matt Lauer failed to challenge Trump when he’s usually so good at interviewing.
-Here is Michelle Obama‘s full Carpool Karaoke segment, and it’s glorious. She will always be the coolest First Lady in history.
-This Divergent news is HILARIOUS. The last movie flopped so badly that that Lionsgate has jettisoned the finale in favor of a TV movie. And there’s no guarantee that the original stars will sign on. (Why would they?) Let’s hope this is the final nail in the coffin of franchises who think they should stretch the final book across two movies.
–Leonardo DiCaprio is being dragged into the growing Wolf of Wall Street money-laundering scandal. It tickles me that he’s only referred to as “Hollywood Actor 1” in the suit.
-I guess I shouldn’t make too much fun of Leo today since he raised $45 million for environmental causes last night. But I’m assuming that was mostly all Mariah’s doing.
–Mario Batali has opinions about pal Gwyneth Paltrow’s exes. He liked Brad Pitt, but wasn’t a fan of Ben Affleck.
–Taylor Swift has a long history of being a technophobe, even before Snapchatgate.
-Meanwhile, Vulture takes a deep dive into when exactly the media turned on Taylor.
-Ruh roh. Michael Moore is convinced Donald Trump is going to win.
-For some reason, I’ve had the pleasure of attending not one, but two events this month that featured Daniel Franzese (Damian from Mean Girls), and he’s an absolute teddy bear. Maybe that’s why this video of him proposing to his boyfriend in the Starbucks where they met reduced me to a sobbing puddle.
-Gawker took the time to compile all of Seth MacFarlane‘s sexist, racist and homophobic Oscar jokes, just in case you hate yourself and want to see them again.
–Jennifer Lawrence‘s acceptance speech was a bit subdued (I’m guessing herfall on the stairs shook her up a bit, though I love that Bradley Cooper and Hugh Jackman both rushed to help her). But she was back to her charming self soon after, cracking jokes to the reporters backstage (“I’m sorry, I did a shot before. Jesus!”), and then having a total freak-outwhen Jack Nicholson interrupted her interview. God, I’m starting to love this girl in a way that’s probably not healthy. At least I’m not the only one…
-If Joaquin Phoenixcouldn’t even pretend to not hate everything about the Oscars when they said his name last night, why’d he even bother to show up?Also, does anyone else think he and Kristen Stewart are destined to become BFFs and form a sulkypants gang?
-Speaking of Kristen Stewart, she’s getting a lot of flak for her appearance. My boss asked why she looked so “sweaty” (though Lainey’s going with “greasy.”) KStew said she was limping because she stepped on broken glass last week, but that still doesn’t explain the arm bruisesor dirty hair.
–Charlize Theron continued her awesome streak by coming to the aid of an Academy Awards security guard who was having a seizure.
-At an afterparty, Jennifer Lawrence managed to hold court with Bradley Cooper and Leonardo DiCaprio at the same time, making every woman in her immediate radius bow before her.
-Speaking of afterparties, Sally Field became my new hero with this pic, Diane Kruger and Joshua Jackson wowed in the style department, Anne Hathaway wore a party dressthat might actually be worse than the one she wore to the ceremony, and Modern Family‘s Jesse Ferguson was the king of the photobomb.
-Wanna know what it’s like to watch the Oscars at the Vanity Fair party? Check out this video. And yes, you will want to adopt Amy Poehler after you see it.
-Is it awesome or tacky that Eddie Redmayne‘s girlfriend didn’t buy a new dress for the Oscars?
-I don’t watch Game of Thrones, but everyone I know is very excited about this new Season 3 trailer.
–Lindsay Lohan and Charlie Sheen‘s odd buddy movie continues. She’s going to play herselfon Anger Management.
-Wait, Tiger Woods and Elin Nordgren are back together?
-Instagram has reportedly threatened to shut down Madonna’s account due to its “mature content.” But where else are we supposed to get officially sanctioned yet surprisingly unflattering photos of her?
–Kanye “I Need to be the Centre of the Universe” Westhas no love for Justin Timerlake and Jay-Z‘s “Suit and Tie.”
-I don’t see anything, but belly bump watchers insist Fergie is starting to show.
–Gillian Anderson has landed a role on a new NBC pilot. (She’s also going to star on Hannibal, but only for three episodes — which is good because it sort of feels like the network is trying to bury that show before it even premieres.)
-In other TV news, Maya Rudolph might be bringing back the variety show.
