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Jurassic World

Dear Game of Thrones: No One Believes You

Theon (Alfie Allen) and Sansa (Sophie Turner) in the Season 5 finale of Game of Thrones
Theon (Alfie Allen) and Sansa (Sophie Turner) in the Season 5 finale of Game of Thrones. (HBO)

Twitter exploded after last night’s Game of Thrones finale (though pretty much everyone is convinced that the shocking end moment isn’t going to stick — despite what the actor and producers are trying to sell us).

-Also, can we talk about the awesomeness of Brienne? Last night, her 30 seconds of screen time almost made up for a season that seemed to really hate women more than usual. (And seriously, turning what happened to Sansa into a redemption arc for Theon? COME ON!)

-My buddy interviewed Lena Headey on her big scene last night. (Which I’m still conflicted about. Also, I’m also not here for a Cersei redemption story.)

-Speaking of shows that only did 10 episodes this season, Vulture has an interesting TV article on how 10 is the new 13 (and 13 was the new 22). I don’t like it. 22 is ridiculous, but the fact that Orphan Black is ending this weekend after it *just* started to get good makes me think 10 episodes isn’t enough to get really into a season.

-Meanwhile, I feel like we should be sick of Michiel Huisman by now because he’s on pretty much every other TV show in existence, but then he goes and says something like this and it’s impossible to turn on him.

-Congrats to Benedict Cumberbatch and Sophie Hunter on the birth of their first child.

Taylor Swift introduced her cat Olivia Benson to the actress who plays Olivia Benson, and somehow the universe didn’t swallow itself whole.

John Stamos tweeted that he was “home and well” after being arrested for DUI.

Kristen Stewart’s mother confirmed that the actress is indeed dating another woman, which hopefully means the phrase “gal pal” will be banished from all future reporting of their relationship.

-This account of  Marlon Brando‘s secret celebrity acting seminar is so bonkers and good.

-I’ve only gotten through a couple of episodes of the new season of Orange Is The New Black, but seriously — what’s with the horrible green screen?

-The Masters of Sex season three trailer is here and I’m already in love with Josh Charles. More so than usual.

Helen Mirren helped John Oliver debunk 24-style torture last night like the boss that she is.

Amy Schumer left a 1000% tip at a Long Island restaurant because she is perfection wrapped in dreams.

Kim Kardashian was a guest on NPR’s Wait Wait, Don’t Tell Me (I know, right??) and she swore she wouldn’t be naming her new baby South West.

Lena Dunham was the latest star to compete in a lip sync battle with Jimmy Fallon. It might have been the most uncomfortable one yet.

Mark Ruffalo stopped by the Daily Show to gently remind Jon Stewart about all the times he didn’t do any research before his interviews.

-Another week, another round of paparazzi shots of Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner at the farmer’s market. Fresh produce is super important, guys!

-It’s great that Jurassic World officially took down The Avengers to become the biggest domestic opening of all time with $209M, but I’m giving a hard side-eye to this article that claims Bryce Dallas Howard tottering around in high heels is some sort of feminist victory.

Winona Ryder is going to headline Netflix’s next supernatural drama, which is such a good career move for her. WINO FOREVER!

Emma Roberts and Evan Peters have called off their engagement. Hey, remember when she was taken into custody in Montreal a couple of years ago because the police responded to a call and found those two beating on each other? She’d probably prefer if we didn’t.

-According to Matt Bomer, the Magic Mike XXL cast “have no boundaries left.” Um, I’m going to need some photographic proof of this, Matt.

-Canadian viewers can now watch the first four episodes of UnReal online. It’s my favourite new show.

-Here’s the red band trailer for Dope, which got raves at Sundance. (NSFW, obvs.) I was sold on the Coachella joke.