-Fox is going to stop reporting overnight ratings— which is a bold move. Personally, I still think they’re important for indicating people’s viewing priorities, but whatever.
-The trailer for Shameless season 6 is here. As much as I liked the last season I was going to drop this one because #peakTV, but then in the promo Dylan McDermott takes off a pair of panties with his teeth and goddamit I’m back in!
-Speaking of peak TV, I was following a Twitter convo between TV critics about all the shows they have to catch up on before compiling their year-end ‘best of’ lists, and one of them put it all in a Google doc. I think I watch too much TV, but I haven’t seen half of these.
–Tyra Banks quither own daytime talk show after just two months.
-When the NYT’s Maureen Dowd started reporting on sexism in Hollywood, an executive dismissively told her she should “call some chicks.” So she did, and the result is a pretty amazing article.
–Jenny McCarthy should not be allowed to publicly discuss any medical issue ever again, k?
-Go to this site, type in the password “XPhiles” and enjoy the blink-and-you’ll-miss-it spoilers. I totally blocked out the fact that Mulder and Scully have a son named William.
-It’s a look we’re not used to seeing, but Rihanna looks stunning (and surprisingly modest) in her new cover shoot for Harper’s Bazaar Arabia.
-Want to feel like you attended Beyonce and Jay Z‘s wedding? Just attend their concert instead.
-Also, Beyonce performed in an assless bodysuit last night. That is all.
–Shailene Woodley says she’s currently living with Laura Dern, who played her mom in The Fault In Our Stars. She also calls Kate Winslet a “badass mothaf—a.”
-Meanwhile, if you loved The Fault in Our Stars, this is great news: Sarah Polley is in talks to adapt another John Green book.
–Kim Kardashian temporarily had blonde hair and the internet exploded in a feelings orgy.
-Meanwhile, Kim posted a nipple-rific selfie on Instagram and it quickly got 663k likes because humanity is awful.
-Speaking of racy Instagram pics, Lea Michele shared this topless photo from her vacation.
–Will Ferrell unexpectedly showed up at a World Cup pep rally in Brazil — and his speech was perfect.
–Gary Oldman took his apology tour to Jimmy Kimmel’s show last night, telling him “I’m an a-hole; I’m 56 and I should know better.” Too bad I don’t believe a word coming out of his mouth.
–Melissa McCarthy‘s People cover story is full of inspiring awesomeness.
–Jenny McCarthy will probably not return to The View next season because she’s horrible and the audience knows it.
-North Korea has threatened “merciless” retaliation if Seth Rogen and James Franco‘s new movie The Interview is released, calling the film “an act of terrorism” (which, frankly, could describe any of James Franco’s recent art projects.)
–Neil Patrick Harris says the one and only time he slept with a womanwas the result of a girl whose friends bet her to have sex with Doogie Howser.
–Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan are denying reports that their marriage is in trouble. Now if they would just address those drinking rumours…
-Here’s the first trailer for Life After Beth, starring Anna Kendrick and a zombie-fied Aubrey Plaza.
-A judge has ordered Scandal star Columbus Short to pay $17k/month in spousal support and $4.5k/month in child support.
-The guy who played Jesse in She’s All That just landed a role in Netflix’s Daredevil.
-It’s official: Lindsay Lohanreally is going to star in London’s West End revival of David Mamet’s satirical play Speed-the-Plow. I do not understand this life.
-Downton Abbey’s Dan Stevens gets his creep on in the new trailer for The Guest.
–Miley Cyrus‘ camp would like you all to know that her hospitalization had to do with an allergic reaction and had nothing to do with excessive partying, mmm-kay???
–Jon Hamm washes away his Don Draper stink with this totally adorable Sesame Street clip.
–Donnie Wahlberg deserves some serious brownie points. He helped Jenny McCarthy change the news surrounding her by popping the question.
-It’s not everyday that a celebrity’s suicide attempt involves a severed penis.
-You know, if I was going to trust anyone to whip Justin Bieber into shape, it’d be The Office’s Craig Robinson so I approve of this friendship.
-I just assumed that it was the work of a bored intern, but it turns out William Shatner really has been live-tweeting CW shows. He started doing it for Supernatural because he likes building up small sci-fi shows, and then it just snowballed. This explains why he and Sam Witwer are always tweeting at each other (adorably, I should add).
–Channing Tatum may play Gambit, which would be a lot more exciting if Gambit wasn’t THE WORST.
–Amy Schumer and Josh Charles did an Aaron Sorkin spoofset in a fast food restaurant and it’s perfection. If you’re in Canada you may have to Hola/Media Hint/TunnelBear/whatever to get around the geo-blocking, but it’s totally worth it.
-The cast of Roswell is reuniting at the ATX Television Festival and it makes me way more excited than what’s probably acceptable. If I find out that Katherine Heigl was intentionally not invited, my head might actually explode.
-“Wait, I have a cameo? I didn’t know that.” James Franco isn’t exactly up to date with what’s happening in Dawn of the Planet of the Apes.
-Save the cheerleader, save the world? Not anymore. Hayden Panettiere was NOT asked to appear NBC’s Heroes reboot. (Their loss. She was the only reason I kept watching Nashville for way longer than I should have.)
–Beyonce posted a thigh-riffic vacation photo on Instagram, possibly to make us all forget about that thigh gap crap from earlier.
-Here’s the latest trailer for Elizabeth Banks’ Walk of Shame. Does it make me a bad feminist for wanting to watch the crap out of this?
-The ridiculous Star Wars set photo analyzing can begin…now.
-EW’s examination of series finales continues. Today, it’s Dawson’s Creek, which remains one of my favourite series finales of all time even though I had stopped watching the show years before.
–Dina Lohan pleaded guilty to a DUI and is looking at community service.
–Taye Diggs was spotted on a date with a modelbut I’m just going to go ahead and pretend that he and Idina Menzel are still together because I clearly need more time to process this.