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Hunger Games

Justin Bieber: “I Carry Myself in a More Manly Way”

Justin Bieber on the cover of Rolling Stone
Justin Bieber on the cover of Rolling Stone.

–Justin Bieber tells Rolling Stone, “I don’t carry myself as a boy” and “I carry myself in a more manly way.” Aww! Sure you do, muffin!

-This morning’s Emmy nods were all about snubs instead of pleasant surprises. No Nick Offerman, Adam Scott, Joel McHale, Fringe, Parks and Recreation(!), Happy Endings, or The Good Wife? Blah! At least there was the Max Greenfield/Breaking Bad love.

-Out of all the people rumoured to be up for the role of Finnick in Catching Fire, I would have never bet it’d be this guy. Is it too late to sign the Jesse Williams petition?

–Demi Moore’s daughters might not be talking to her, but they’re not quite ready to get a restraining order, either.

-Do you want to hear Nick Offerman talk about his oversized penis prop? Of course you do!

-In other golden Nick news, here’s some video of Ron Swanson reading the tweets of young female celebrities.

–Elisabetta Canalis is stuck in a hot car (don’t get too excited; it’s just in a new video for PETA).

–Joseph Gordon-Levitt wins our heart by speaking passionately about his late brother…and then breaks it into a million little pieces by saying that pretty women aren’t funny.

–Tom Cruise and Suri are flying high in NYC. This is going to play right into Us Weekly’s new cover story about how he spoils her.

–Kim Kardashian tweeted a photo of her “ugly cry face” from a recent roller-coaster ride with Kanye West.

-Meanwhile, Kim is the second highest paid woman on TV, right behind Sofia Vergara.

-Our lord and saviour Joss Whedon did Felicia Day a solid by starring in her new YouTube series.

-Despite initial reports, Jessica Biel isn’t going to be in the Wolverine sequel anymore.

-Sweet! Frank Ocean‘s new album debuted at No. 2 on the Billboard charts.

-Is Liev Schreiber kissing wife Naomi Watts or trying to eat her face?

–Paris Jackson has been cast in a movie…and aunt Janet is reportedly unhappy about it.

–Halle Berry has been released from the hospital after suffering a head injury on the set of Hive.

-Today in real estate porn: Drake’s new mansion.

-There are more rumours about Penelope Cruz being preggo.

–Russell Brand confirmed that he’s dating Isabella Brewster — but still had very nice things to say about Katy Perry.

-The first trailer for Lindsay Lohan‘s new film has landed, and she isn’t even in it! That sounds about right, actually.

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Sofia Vergara and Nick Loeb Are Engaged

Sofia Vergara in Modern Family. (ABC)
Sofia Vergara in Modern Family. (ABC)

–Sofia Vergara‘s on-again/off-again relationship with Nick Loeb is apparently very on again. The pair just announced their engagement.

-In bummer relationship news, Harry Potter‘s Bonnie Wright and Twilight‘s Jamie Campbell Bower have called off their engagement. Quick, hug the nearest tween!

–Kris Humphries‘ ex-girlfriend is denying reports he knocked her up.

-Mark your calendar! The final Hunger Games film will be split into two parts, with the first hitting theatres on Nov. 21, 2014.

-Wanna feel really old? Melrose Place came out 20 years ago this week.

-Was Kellan Lutz recreating Robert Pattinson‘s Vanity Fair pose on purpose? And are his pants supposed to be that tight? So many questions…

-Speaking of RPattz, he says he’d like to play James Bond…in 20 years. It’ll take him that long to lose the awkwardness.

–Scarlett Johansson‘s rep says the guy in the skimpy little Speedo lying next to her on a yacht is just her security guard. Mmm-hmmm.

-Uh oh. There’s new reports of Britney Spears walking off the X Factor set.

-Speaking of X Factor, has Stacy Keibler dated her way into a hosting gig on the show?

–Jessica Biel says she had no say whatsoever in her engagement ring. Clearly.

-Good on Shenae Grimes! She’s dating a male model.

-My buddies at vitaminwater have teamed up with Lainey Gossip for something called the “Faculty of Celebrity Studies,” which sounds like something I would totally enroll in!

–Seth Meyers has denied reports he’s taking over Regis Philbin‘s job as cohost of Live!, so you can stop with the “Really?! No, really?” routine.

–Jesse Eisenberg has some serious things to say in his new PSA, but his creepy ‘stache is the only thing anyone can focus on.

–Adele proves her awesomeness by hiding her pregnancy for seven(!) months.

–Katie Holmes not only gets primary custody, she also reportedly gets a nanny clause.

–Lindsay Lohan was rumoured to be up for a part in Scary Movie 5, but she hasn’t even been able to secure that.

–Cillian Murphy won’t confirm or deny his rumoured Dark Knight cameo, which means it’s totally on.

-I know we’re all sick of the played out “Call Me Maybe” parodies, but Cookie Monster somehow makes it palatable.

Katie Holmes to Get Primary Custody, Tom Cruise to Get ‘Generous’ Visitation: Report

–Katie Holmes FTW! She might have budged a little on their joint statement, but that was quickly overshadowed by news that they’ve already reached a divorce settlement out of court and — even though details haven’t officially been released — early word is that she’s getting primary custody of Suri in NYC. Excuse me while I go build this woman a shrine… (In the meantime, please enjoy the awkward TomKat dancing video above in memoriam.)

–Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher were spotted riding his motorcycle. Take cover, people — this is really happening!

-Congrats to Grey’s Anatomy star Sara Ramirez, who just got hitched.

-A bus crashed into the set of Sandra Bullock‘s new movie. No word on whether it had to stay above 50 mph.

–Blake Lively continues to win the bathing suit wars. Also, these photos of her and Ryan Reynolds kissing are HAWT (staged or not).

-Speaking of Blake, Barry Watson from 7th Heaven just signed on to play her Gossip Girl love interest in the weirdest casting move of the day.

-On-again/off-again couple Laura Dern and Ben Harper are back off. She just filed for divorce (again).

–Stacy Keilber got food poisoning, though it’s hard to feel bad for her when you consider it happened when she was in Italy with George Clooney. Can you imagine him taking care of you? The thought of it gives my uterus butterflies.

-Sporty Spice Mel C has split from her baby daddy after 10 years together.

-It’s official: Philip Seymour Hoffman has signed on to play Plutarch in the Hunger Games sequel, Catching Fire.

-Question: Is there nothing Jon Hamm can’t do? Answer: No.

-An ex-Idol contestant is suing MTV for $40 million.

–50 Cent is in damage control mode after tweeting an offensive comment about autism.

–Fifty Shades of Grey is now a YouTube musical. Of course it is.

-Awkward! Taylor Swift‘s ex-boyfriend is now shooting a movie with her rumoured new boyfriend. Even more awkward: two of the three people in this story are named Taylor.

-Congrats to Lily Allen, who’s expecting her second child.

-In other baby news, Sienna Miller gave birth to a baby girl.

-AMC has released a new behind-the-scenes peek at the new season of Breaking Bad, plus a brand new promo for Sunday’s premiere. All hail the king!