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Fifty Shades of Grey

Jamie Dornan in the Fifty Shades of Grey Trailer: What Happened?

fifty shades of grey jamie dornan

-The Fifty Shades of Grey trailer has been released and it’s … not bad. Like, surprisingly not bad. I was expecting more cheese, but they’re playing it so straight it might actually work (they even showed considerable restraint by not ending it with “coming soon”). Is it possible Sam Taylor-Johnson managed to turn that terribly, terribly written book into a watchable move? My only concern: they tease us before showing Jamie Dornan‘s face and when they finally do, in that first scene he looks a little…doughy. Which is crazy because he was unbelievably hot it The Fall. Did his beard hold the key to all his sexiness? Here’s more proof.

-Meanwhile, Jamie’s costar Dakota Johnson was spotted with her possible new boyfriend Matthew Hitt, the lead vocalist of the band Drowners.

Mireille Enos had a baby boy and called him Larkin Zouey Ruck. Also, did anyone else know she was married to Alan Ruck?! This makes me weirdly happy.

-With all of the TIFF announcements, I somehow missed the fact that Anna Kendrick will be here for not one, but two movies: a musical romance called The Last Five Years, and a drama called Cake costarring Jennifer Aniston. Squee!

-Are Jon Snow and Ygritte dating IRL?

Audra McDonald, Jimmy Fallon and Josh Charles sang Yahoo! Answers last night. Who knew Will Gardiner had those pipes?

Shia LaBeouf showed up in court today to face his disorderly conduct charges at that Cabaret performance last month. Not surprisingly, there’s a plea deal in the works.

-Yet another reason not to watch New Girl anymore: Jessica Biel just joined the cast.

Lupita Nyong’o’s French Elle cover is tres jolie.

-Maybe it’s just because my current bout of insomnia has led me to a Gossip Girl rewatch this week, but Penn Badgley’s tweet to Leighton Meester got me all mushy.

Ricky Gervais says he discovered “big, sweaty slob” Louis C.K., who never thanked him.

-The Hollywood Reporter got Tatiana Maslany to do some Shaun of the Dead cosplay, killing fanboys everywhere.

-I want Taylor Swift’s booties.

-The Washington Post imagined what it’d be like if famous actors created lifestyle websites, and it’s hilarious.

-Meanwhile, Blake Lively might have revealed a split-second glimpse of her wedding dress in Preserve’s welcome video.

Jake Gyllenhaal is on the prowl in the first trailer for Nightcrawler.

Kerry Washington Goes Glam for Glamour


-I love that Kerry Washington is getting all the magazine covers now. Besides the Glamour cover above, she’s also gracing the new Flare. Finally!

-Need a reason to call your mom? Dakota Johnson and Charlie Hunnam have been cast in the Fifty Shades of Grey film.

-I’m not sure how I feel about seeing Dakota Fanning’s side boob. Not good, I think.

-HBO announced that True Blood’s next season will be its last. Talk about coming two seasons too late (though the show did briefly rally this year, but topped it off with a redonkulously stupid finale).

-Oopsie! Homeland’s premiere has leaked online already.

-I usually love everything Emma Watson wears but this is just…no.

Britney Spears‘s new album will be titled “Werk Bitch“. I really hope she doesn’t add a ‘t’ to the beginning of that.

-Meanwhile, even Stephen Harper is twerking (or at least thinking he is).

JLo and Harry Connick Jr. are officially on the Idol train.

-Lots of bold-faced names attended Seth Meyers’ weekend wedding. I really hope Amy Poehler was there and that she have a “Really?!”-themed speech.

Michael Douglas is downplaying his marriage woes, saying he and Catherine Zeta-Jones are “fine.

Ed Sheeran has come to Taylor Swift’s defense, saying that STFU she was seen mouthing at the VMAs was actually directed at Selena Gomez.

Miley Cyrus spoke about her VMAs performance and said “I didn’t even think about it ’cause that’s just me.” That sounds about right.

-Meanwhile, Shaq‘s video response to Miley‘s twerking is perfection.

Dina Eastwood is saying lots of nice things about her soon-to-be-ex-husband Clint. I guess the settlement hasn’t been finalized yet.

-Did Katy Perry say no to John Mayer’s proposal?

Jennifer Lopez says she has “high standards” when it comes to love. I think the guy’s face in the background of this photo encapsulates what we’re all thinking right now.

-It was a big weekend for engagements. Katie Couric and Lance Bass are both getting hitched. Though not to each other, as cool as that may be.

-A trailer for the new season of Downton Abbey has landed.

Amanda Bynes is back to tweeting about Drake (though her lawyers insist she was “hacked” again).

Bill Murray is ready to rock the casbah.

Zac Efron is having quite a week. His TIFF film Parkland is getting rave reviews…as is his chest in the new Neighbors trailer.

Kristen Stewart Seen with a Dude Who Sorta Looks Like Rupert Sanders; Internet Explodes

Kristen Stewart and Rupert Sanders in Us Weekly.
Kristen Stewart and Rupert Sanders in summer 2012. (Us Weekly)

-Ok, so this photo kind of makes it looks like Kristen Stewart is getting into a car driven by Rupert Sanders (aka – the director she had an affair with last summer, shattering Twihard hearts into a trillion little pieces). But she couldn’t possibly be that stupid, could she? Especially on the day that RPattz flew out of LA…right?! My bet is no — but that’s not going to do her any good right now.

-Oh jeez. Gus Van Sant reportedly shot some steamy footage featuring Alex Pettyfer as Christian Grey in a bid to direct Fifty Shades of Grey. I have no interest in seeing the movie, and those names certainly aren’t going to change my mind. Ian Somerhalder, on the other hand…

Beyoncé‘s war against unflattering photos of her surfacing on the interwebs continues: she’s now banned all pro photographers from her concerts.

-I’m surprised it took this long to hit, but Gwyneth Paltrow is coming under fire for promoting a line of children’s bikinis in last week’s GOOP. It certainly raised my eyebrows when I saw it (but mostly because the spooky little girl in the ad looks like a blond, dead-eyed GOOPer in training).

-Meanwhile, Gwyneth continues to name-check Jay-Z on her Iron Man 3 press tour. (Because they’re friends, in case she hasn’t drilled that into your head yet.)

-For those of you playing along at home, Miley Cyrus‘ engagement ring is back on.

Snoop is suddenly the leading expert on buddy Miley’s love life: “I know that she has a relationship that no longer exists.”

Snoop is also backing a line of bracelets made from reclaimed illegal guns, which is pretty damn cool.

Alexander Skarsgard sings a Swedish song; ovaries around the world explode.

-The UK trailer for Much Ado Movie dropped today. It offers a few more glimpses of Hero’s wedding scene, which is always the part in the play that makes me cringe. I can’t wait to see how Joss Whedon handles it. Awesomely, no doubt.

Katy Perry is totally over her divorce from Russell Brand and thinks you should be, too.

Bradley Cooper praised the first responders in the Boston bombing. The only thing that could make him hotter right now is if he’d done the interview in French.

-I love Gillian Anderson, but man I wish she’d get a better stylist. Look at how her dress is bunching in the bodice. And those shoes!

Zooey Deschanel was one of the celebs who attended Scott Porter’s wedding. I wonder if she initiated a really slow chicken dance at the reception?

Janice Dickinson is bankrupt and $1 million in debt, but she’s “taking steps to pay everyone back.”

-This is amazing: Jimmy Kimmel sent a video crew to Coachella and tricked attendees into gushing over made-up bands.

-I’m a big fan of Paul F. Tompkins (who’s a regular on basically every comedy podcast ever recorded), and now I’m an even bigger fan since I discovered his “Speakeasy” YouTube series. The best part is when he gets celebrities to recreate Internet memes. Community’s Alison Brie does a great unflattering Beyonce, and New Girl’s Jake Johnson is clearly related to Grumpy Cat.

-Speaking of Alison Brie, she just made a Funny or Die video with boyfriend Dave Franco. (It’s very NSFW.)

Kate Middleton showed off her growing belly bump in a clingy Erdem dress today.

-Guys, I just found out that the guy who played Max on Roswell is married to the woman who played Charlotte on Private Practise and it’s blowing my mind!!

Ben Affleck and Sophia Bush are among the celebrities who’ll be living on just $1.50/day as part of the Live Below the Line initiative. Learn more about it and sign up for the challenge here.

-I always forget that Rachel Bilson is still with Hayden Christensen, but they were spotted vacationing in Barbados this week.

Amanda Bynes wants you to know that she doesn’t smoke pot in the bathroom. Because clearly that’s what we’re all worried about…

The Office‘s Rainn Wilson beats up How I Met Your Mother‘s Josh Radnor before talking about meditation in this new video.

-Speaking of mildly entertaining videos, Michael Cera just uploaded his new short film, featuring WTF costars like Kelis and Charles Grodin.

-Did Reese Witherspoon and her camp just throw her husband under the bus? And is anyone surprised at all by this turn of events?

-Meanwhile, BFF Chelsea Handler is sticking up for her, calling the arrest “no big deal.”

-Oh, and now there’s video of her arrest!

Justin Bieber has officially given up his pet monkey because “a baby monkey was never going to be suited to be on a world tour even if he is travelling by private jet.” Truer words were never spoken.

-That drink that Ted ordered on Sunday night’s Mad Men? It’s an Old Spanish – a made-up cocktail from 30 Rock.

Liam Gallagher “tried to ride a dog after drinking champagne in a pub.” We’ve all been there.

Gilmore Girls star Lauren Graham is doing lots of press for the new novel she wrote (you can read the first chapters here), and that includes talking about how she’s been on a diet for 35 years, which I really wish I didn’t know.

-Here’s the new poster for Before Midnight. I just realized I’m going to be in NYC when it’s released and am now debating how lame it would be to sneak away from my travel buddies to go see it opening night…

-Speaking of movies, The Thor 2 trailer has arrived. I kind of feel like I have to see these movies now whether I want to or not if I expect to follow along with the Avengers films. Sigh.