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Carrie Underwood

2017 Golden Globes Best and Worst Dressed

The theme of the 2017 Golden Globes’ red carpet seemed to be clavicles. There were so many weirdly similar plunging necklines that a lot of the dresses kind of started blending together. But there were still enough WTF? style moments to keep us awake throughout the inane red carpet banter. Nicole and I picked our best and worst looks:

BEST DRESSED:


Jen: There’s no question for me that Evan Rachel Woods’ custom tux by Altuzarra is the winner of the night by a long shot. I loved it on first sight, and then I loved it even more when she said she wore it as an homage to David Bowie and added, “I want to make sure that young girls and women know [dresses] aren’t a requirement and you don’t have to wear one if you don’t want to; you can just be yourself because your worth is more than that.” Preach!

Nicole: I’m totally with you on this! She was just so cool and made it seem effortless.


Nicole: I loved Kerry Washington’s Dolce & Gabbana Alta Moda. The fit was perfect, it was so flattering and a great colour! I also appreciated that Kerry wore lipstick which because it just pulled the whole look together.

Jen: You like this more than I did. I think the bodysuit peeking out from underneath makes me side-eye it a bit.


Jen: I love me a sleek column dress and Amy Adams did it best in this Tom Ford stunner. I adore the square neckline, which makes it just a little bit weird.

Nicole: I was a bit bored by this. It fit beautifully and agree the neckline was interesting but it still wasn’t enough to make a black sequined column dress a standout for me.

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Nicole: I was pleased with Emma Stone’s Valentino gown for tonight and thought that it was simple and flattering and just youthful enough to come across as fun.

Jen: I kind of wish it was a bolder colour but I dig Emma’s dress too, especially because it fit so well with the character she’s nominated for (but wasn’t as on the nose as Natalie Portman’s Jackie-esque dress).


Jen: I can already feel Nicole yelling at me for this pick, but I weirdly kinda dig Drew Barrymore’s weirdass Monique Lhuillier birdlady dress. Not many people can pull off the Vegas boho look but she kills it. I wish her hair was less messy and she’d toned down the contouring makeup, but I’m still tickled by this look.

Nicole: Good lord. I actually hoped she’d fly away with those weird wings.


Nicole: I fell in love with Janelle Monae in Moonlight and tumbled a little deeper after seeing Hidden Figures. She is stunning in this custom Armani gown and manages to invoke a bit of the time period while still being thoroughly modern. Love!

Jen: This dress is so weird but in a good way. Between Moonlight, Hidden Figures and her red carpet game this season, she’s on a roll.


Jen: She was a late arrival but Brie Larson saved the best for last in this perfectly fitted red Rodarte. One of my faves of the night!

Nicole: Agreed! It was a stunner on sight and the red stood out amongst the sequins, yellows and golds.


Nicole: It pains me to choose Jessica Biel as a favourite (mostly because of her spouse) but her Elie Saab was so cool and crazy and flattering. It’s a clavicle dress but I just loved the tailoring and the embellishments.

Jen: I can’t believe you’re stanning this one. Not only for the clavicle (see below) but this thing has FAKE GRAPES glued to it!


Jen: Insecure’s Issa Rae killed it on her first red carpet in this absolutely breathtaking beaded Siriano. Great hair, too.

Nicole: I thought it was simple and beautiful.

https://twitter.com/TheFashionLaw/status/818250090544590852
Nicole: We both loved Viola Davis’s breathtaking Michael Kors Collection sequined gown that positively glowed. She was radiant and a unanimous pick.

Jen: Yeah, this was a such a great dress. Bold colour, perfect fit. I love that Viola is having such a moment right now!

 

WORST DRESSED:


Jen: How does a dress like Nicole Kidman’s McQueen happen to such a huge star? HOW?!? I want to rip off the sleeves and the hem and change the lining — just to start.

Nicole: What in the actual f*** was this mess? Another cold shoulder gone terribly wrong.


Nicole: I never really think of Natalie Portman as a star on the red carpet but this dress was just terrible from the colour to the fit. I understand not wanting to wear a super form fitting dress but this was a bedazzled Prada tent.

Jen: Hey guys, did you know Natalie plays Jackie Kennedy in the 60s? Did ya? Well, just in case you forgot, her dress is her to serve as a walking reminder.


Jen: I never really have high hopes for Carrie Underwood on a red carpet, but this was unusually bad, even for her. From the figure skating costume sheer back to the frilly front that kind of looks like a labia, this Iris Serban gown is all kinds of bad.

Nicole: Classic overdone Carrie.


Nicole: I always wish Michelle Williams would be more interesting on the red carpet and this year was no exception. I generally love the adverts she does for Louis Vuitton but this dress was blah, the choker was embarrassing and for the love of god, wear some colour on your face!

Jen: This was another dress that I wanted to rip the sleeves off of. And the chest was weirdly boob-flattening.


Jen: So many women were saddled with Louis Vuitton gowns that I didn’t like on this red carpet, but LV did Sophie Turner extra dirty with this mess of a dress.

Nicole: I get the desire to be different and youthful. This is not that.


Nicole: Let me preface this by saying I love me a cold shoulder. However, when executed as a gown, I feel like it doesn’t play well. Sarah Jessica Parker is a great example of this with her Vera Wang gown. It doesn’t work and I wish she’d just worn her Vera Wang wedding gown instead.

Jen: “Cold shoulder.” “Flu shot access panel.” Whatever this trend is called, I still hate it.


Jen: Lately, Felicity Jones seems to be trying to be on a personal mission to get her photo placed next to the word “dowdy” in the dictionary, and she might just succeed with this atrocious Gucci gown.

Nicole: I’m with you. I love the Gucci playfulness and tromp l’oeil but this mess? No.


Nicole: I wish Winona Ryder had worn something… less interesting? It looked like my Junior Prom dress (from the 90’s) and even though it’s Victor and Rolf and fit beautifully, I just wasn’t won over, especially with what looked like a terrible ass bow.

Jen: I didn’t dislike this one as much as you did. The bow on the back was a little much, but otherwise I thought it was Old Hollywood classy.


Jen: I didn’t hate Kristen Bell’s Jenny Packham dress as much as my other picks, but I was so bored by this unflattering neckline. Mandy Moore and Jessica Biel also rocked a similar look. Since when did the top of bellies become a must-show-off body part?

Nicole: I actually loved this. It was young and fit impeccably and I thought she was having a ton of fun in it.


Nicole: Gucci had some crazy dresses on the red carpet tonight and they also took Zoe Saldana down with them. This frilly mess had gorgeous colour going for it but failed to flatter and the cheap bow really did this in.

Jen: This was extra disappointing because she’s usually one of my faves.

Angelina Jolie’s Wedding Dress Revealed

Angelina Jolie's wedding dress
Angelina Jolie’s wedding dress graces the covers of Hello! and People magazines.

-What else could we possibly lead with today besides Angelina Jolie’s wedding dress (which was designed by Donatella Versace)? I expected something a little less traditional from her, though incorporating doodles from the kids is very cute (though I might not have done it on the veil, too). Meanwhile, Brad Pitt honored Angelina Jolie’s late mother by having a dedication engraved into the chapel, and he hummed “Here Comes the Bride” when she walked down the aisle.

-The other big story that broke this weekend was the disgusting photo hack that resulted in tons of nude photos of celebs being leaked. The FBI is investigating it, while Apple has denied it happened because of an iCloud security breach. The world is rally around the victims (especially Jennifer Lawrence), and horny Redditors ended up donating thousands to cancer research in J-Law’s honour after seeing the photos (still gross, guys). Meanwhile, Emma Watson and Lena Dunham are condemning people who blame celebs for having nude photos on their phones, while Ricky Gervais has had to backtrack for his insensitive response.

-Speaking of insensitive, why the hell did Cee-Lo Green feel the need to tweet that “people who have been really raped remember” and a whole bunch of other grossness?! He’s already apologized for his controversial opinions about rape and consent. Luckily, the title of his most famous song is summing up everyone’s feelings about him right now.

Carrie Underwood announced her pregnancy by posting a photo of her dogs. People are already scrutinizing her barely there belly bump.

-I always find it hard to take actors seriously when then announce that they’re also DJs (even my beloved Idris Elba), so it’s a bit heartbreaking to learn The Fault in Our Stars’ Ansel Elgort is also a DJ named Ansolo.

-Speaking of Idris Elba, here are some photos of him jogging, just because I love you.

Mindy Kaling looks amazing on the new cover of Flare. I heart her so much!

Justin Bieber has been slapped with an assault charge after an ATV crash near Stratford, Ont on Friday.

-Another week, another killer segment from John Oliver. This one is on YouTube comments. As someone who was once told by a YT commenter that they hoped I’d “get ass cancer,” I relate to this one…

Britney Spears brought the awkward to her Vegas show on Sunday by announcing to the crowd, “Well, by now everyone knows my boyfriend cheated on me.”

-I may have squealed a little bit at work when watching this new kissy Arrow promo. I’m not proud.

Beyonce and Jay Z looked all kinds of cozy over the weekend.

Joan Rivers‘ family has confirmed that she’s on life support after suffering a cardiac arrest.

Marky Mark skipped Donnie Wahlberg and Jenny McCarthy’s weekend wedding.  Look at this Instagram video he and his family posted about it and tell me his wife gives any f**ks about missing it.

-Speaking of weekend weddings, Ashlee Simpson also got hitched.

George Clooney is apparently being very hands on with the wedding planning, which is the first time I’ve ever been unhappy with the words “George Clooney” and “hands” in the same sentence…

Jessica Chastain loves supporting other actresses, which is pretty boss.

Lea Michele continues to stretch the limits of Twitter’s proprietary rules.

Jennifer Lopez is very bootylicious in her new Elle UK photo spread.

-I didn’t even have to watch this clip of James Franco‘s latest directorial effort The Sound And The Fury to know this is a very bad idea.

Miley Cyrus Breaks Off Engagement…Finally

miley-cyrus-liam-hemsworth
(twitter.com/MileyCyrus)

Miley Cyrus has officially ended her engagement to Liam Hemsworth, reportedly after he was “less than faithful to her.” He was  spotted moving out of her house earlier today.

-Meanwhile, Miley says she’s “an adult acting like a kid.” I think she’s got it the wrong way around.

-It didn’t take long for Liam to get photographed cozying up to a mystery woman.

-Here’s a better look at Brad Pitt‘s shorter, much improved hair.

Anna Kendrick was all over London Fashion Week, looking as adorable as ever.

Carrie Underwood is playing Maria von Trapp in The Sound of Music? No no no no!

Hayden Christensen just debuted his new clothing line for RW&Co, which is the best thinkg he’s done in years.

-How cool was Lebron James‘ wedding? Well, for starters Beyoncé sang at the reception.

-Meanwhile, this GIF of Beyoncé being briefly kidnapped while on stage is EVERYTHING!

-Last night’s Breaking Bad was insane. And it’s insanity was well rewarded: it broke all previous ratings records, scoring an astounding 6.4 million viewers.

-Also, the entire cast will appear on Conan next Monday (likely fresh from multiple Emmy wins the night before).

-AMC is developing a Walking Dead spinoff. I’ll only care if it’s centred around Daryl Dixon.

-It’s been a rough month for funnyman Billy Connolly; he was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease in underwent surgery for prostate cancer.

Chloë Grace Moretz would like you to know that reports of her death were greatly exaggerated.

Sky Ferreira and her boyfriend were arrested for drug possession this weekend.

-When Superman met Super Grover: Henry Cavill paid a visit to Sesame Street.

Anthony Bourdain has been supporting Nigella Lawson through her nasty divorce because Anthony Bourdain is a goddamn rock star. He also commented on Paula Deen‘s big comeback in the classiest way possible.

-I kind of sort of agree with this opinion about Cory Monteith‘s Emmy tribute, though I feel better knowing that James Gandolfini and Jean Stapelton are also being honoured.

-The first trailer for Grace Of Monaco has dropped. Did BFFs Nicole Kidman and Naomi Watts lose a bet and are doomed to star in made-for-TV-looking movies about dead royalty this year?