— Madonna (@Madonna) March 22, 2020
-Of all the weird videos celebs are posting while self-isolating, this clip of Madonna in a milk bath is the weirdest (so far).
–This is what I always think about when I see videos like that. The poor assistants!
-Meanwhile, John Boyega is doing god’s work by posting this video of Oscar Isaac.
–Sophie Turner’s subtle drag of Evangeline Lilly was wonderful.
–Harvey Weinstein has reportedly been placed into isolation in a New York prison after testing positive for COVID-19.
–Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelos are also donating $1M toward relief efforts.
-In other ‘celebs doing good’ news, Britney Spears is asking her followers to DM her so she can help them with anything they need during quarantine, including diapers and groceries.
–Rita Wilson nailing ‘Hip Hop Hooray’ while she and husband Tom Hanks are in coronavirus quarantine was not the content that I was expecting…but I don’t hate it.
-This weekend, a comedian tweeted “Right now we all need a little kindness. You know, like Ellen Degeneres always talks about! She’s also notoriously one of the meanest people alive. Respond to this with the most insane stories you’ve heard about Ellen being mean & I’ll match every one w/ $2 to @LAFoodBank”. Not surprisingly for anyone who follows blind items, the thread blew up.
–Patrick Stewart is out here reading sonnets to make us all feel better. It’s working.
–Lena Dunham says she’s spending her social distancing time writing an interactive romance novel, as if we’re not all suffering enough.
-Because we all need a distraction, here’s a very good profile on Issa Rae in advance of the new season of Insecure on HBO.
–David Harbour and Lily Allen (aka the couple you always forget are a couple) are sparking marriage rumors.
-Speaking of secret marriages, according to Us Weekly Michelle Williams and her fiancé/baby daddy Thomas Kail have tied the knot.
-In case you missed all the Taylor Swift/Kanye West drama this weekend — does this mean we all owe her an apology?
–Shania Twain says music executives once warned her that women would feel threatened because she was dressing too sexy: “It was just a little bit scary and new, and there was a lot of unknown to it… People thought I was going to get rejected by the public.”
–Simon Rex says the British tabloids offered him $70,000 to lie about hooking up with his former costar, Meghan Markle. “Nothing happened. We never even kissed. We hung out once in a very non-dated way. She was just someone I had met on a TV show and we got lunch. That was the extent of it.”
–Ben Affleck and Ana de Armas continue to keep the paps employed.
-Everyone’s freaking out about the fact that Jlo’s home looks just like the house in Parasite.
–Liam Hemsworth, John Malkovich and Vince Vaughn star in the Arkansas trailer.