Angelina Jolie on Brad Pitt: “We Will Always Be a Family. Always.”

-If you only have time to read one celebrity article this week, make it Page Six’s Angelina Jolie takedown.  It’s got everything: a look back at her ever-changing self-branding, a scorching quote from Laura Dern, implications that she has no friends, shade at her directing abilities, etc.

-Meanwhile, Angelina is doing press and sticking to her talking point: it’s all about family.

Jennifer Lopez talked about dating younger men on today’s Ellen.  “It’s not like you have to be younger. It’s not about that…it’s about the person. It has nothing to do with age.”

-Ooh boy: Lindsay Lohan claims she was “racially profiled” at Heathrow Airport for wearing a headscarf.

George Clooney has opened up for the first time about expecting twins with Amal: “It’s going to change a lot of things, but, you know, that’s life.” (Also, that’s his in-home bar? I kind of want to live there.)

Cate Blanchett lip-synced “You Don’t Own Me” at a drag show because she clearly knows what the world needs right now.

Mariah Carey isn’t going to bother trying to explain to you what went wrong on NYE, because she’s pretty sure you wouldn’t understand: “It’s just something where if I can’t explain it to the entire world, then they’re not going to understand it, because it’s not what they do. Just like I wouldn’t understand somebody who had a desk job and how to do that. I couldn’t. I literally am incapable of being in the real world and surviving.”

-Here’s our first look at the Hans Solo spinoff. I’m here for Phoebe Waller-Bridge and Donald Glover! (And I didn’t even recognize Emilia Clarke when I first saw it.)

Josh Gad promised Daisy Ridley he would no longer ambush her with requests for Star Wars spoilers, so he got Penélope Cruz, Chris Pratt, J.J. Abrams and more to do it for him.

-According to Page Six, Rooney Mara and Joaquin Phoenix are “madly in love.”

-I really liked this New Yorker cover story about how the Oscars have tried to solve its diversity problem, including the part about the Academy president learning she’d have to announce a slate of all-white acting nominees for the second year in a row.

-Meanwhile, in news that should shock no one, diversity in Hollywood helps the bottom line.

-An Academy voter reveals how he was thrown out because he shared screeners with a friend — not knowing his pal was a bigtime movie pirate.

Jack Black was accidentally slapped in the face by an overly excited contestant on the celebrity edition of The Price Is Right.

-Whoa. This Is Us managed to dethrone The Big Bang Theory from its ratings perch. I’m still not convinced that show is much more than misery porn, but good for them.

Emma Watson‘s new Instagram account is a lesson in sustainable fashion, launched specifically to chronicle her press tour wardrobe for Beauty and the Beast.

-Meanwhile, here’s a clip of Emma singing the movie’s opening number.

Leah Remini says that Scientologists believe Tom Cruise “single-handedly is clearing the planet.”

-Big Little Lies is getting mixed reviews, but one thing everyone agrees on is that Reese Witherspoon is awesome in it.

-It was a big day for Misfits alums. Antonia Thomas just booked the lead in an ABC pilot, while Iwan Rheon will lead Marvel’s Inhuman’s series on ABC.

-Speaking of intriguing casting news, Busy Philipps will star in NBC’s new Tina Fey-produced comedy.

James Woods rushed the stage during the Writers Guild Awards and stole Patton Oswalt’s shoe. Sure.

Chris Brown has been ordered to stay away from ex Karrueche Tran following new accusations of death threats and domestic violence.

Will Ferrell and Amy Poehler open an elaborate basement casino in the trailer for The House.

Jen McDonnell is an entertainment freelancer and social media specialist. She put her celeb stalking skills to good use as managing editor of Likes: pop culture, celebrity dirt, guilty pleasure TV, George Clooney, cheese. Dislikes: people who use 'begs the question' incorrectly. Follow Jen on Twitter @jen_mcdonnell. Follow Jen

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