-In news that shouldn’t surprise you if you’ve been paying attention for the last eight months or so, Diane Kruger and Joshua Jackson have split after 10 years together. Do you think this happened last year and they’re just burying the news under today’s Tay/Kim smokescreen? In any case, she’s commemorated the announcement with a Jimi Hendrix quote. Um, kay. #TeamPacey
-Speaking of Tay/Kim, have you had time to digest all the madness from last night? What a glorious gift from the gossip gods to be dropped in our laps at the end of a week that was a mess of real-word news! Before we get into it, we need to give props to Kim Kardashian (as much as that may hurt our souls). I’ve never seen Twitter cape for her like they did last night, and deservedly so. She not only dragged Taylor Swift across multiple platforms (Twitter, TV, Snapchat), but she also had time to make fun of Taylor’s Slytherin rep and make and sell a Kimoji to commemorate the occasion! I mean, this was a genius, perfectly executed takedown, folks. It wasn’t a set up (Kanye reportedly has a doc crew with him at all times in the studio) and he sounded courteous and respectful during that call. But Taylor came out looking BAD. Yes, yes, her defense is that she didn’t specifically hear the “bitch” lyric and the Snapchat video supports that — but she’s clearly had time to craft a comeback (as indicated by the “search” at the top of the Note she posted) and this is the best she could do?! Weak sauce. Her reps’ initial statement about the phone call was that she “cautioned him about releasing a song with such a strong misogynistic message”. Even if we didn’t hear the whole call, did you get the sense that’s where that convo was going? Uh, no. Not to mention her two most damning quotes from the call: “I’d never expect you to tell me about a line in your song” and “You gotta tell the story the way that it happened to you and how you experienced it…You didn’t know who I was before that, that’s fine.” Even if she heard the full song later and changed her opinion (which is her right), that doesn’t justify the self-righteousness of her Grammy speech. And you can’t make a speech like that, write a song about what happened at the VMAs, constantly reference it, and now ask to be “excluded from the narrative.” Gurl, you’ve been dining off that narrative like it’s your own personal buffet for YEARS. Look, whatever you think about the three people involved, they are all calculating, ruthless and ambitious. Except two of them are pretty unapologetically upfront about it, while the other one plays the victim. And people are OVER it.
-This is a good time to link to the article from The Ringer staff last week entitled “When Did You First Realize Taylor Swift Was Lying to You?” For someone who used to be a master at image manipulation, it’s amazing how many times she’s taken an L lately.
-Oh, and don’t even come at me about how Taylor vs Kim is anti-feminist and women should stick up for each other. Feminism = equal rights. Feminism ≠ watching someone mean girl you and simultaneously act victimized, and letting them get away with it.
–Idris Elba is set to break the record for being the highest grossing actor in a single year. We’re blessed.
-I really, really liked the new Ghostbusters movie. Kate McKinnon is a national treasure, and who knew Chris Hemsworth had such comedy chops.? This photo should have clued us in. In any case, despite its so-so debut, it’s almost certainly getting a sequel.
-Speaking of Ghostbusters, Leslie Jones has been RT’ing some of the racist tweets she’s been getting since the movie opened. It’s disgusting.
-Speaking of Hemsworth, he’s going to be in the next Star Trek movie. I’ll take him in pretty much anything at this point.
–Alden Ehrenreich has been cast to play a young Han Solo. Good. He was the only thing that made Beautiful Creatures somewhat watchable.
–Pippa Middleton is engaged. Not to Prince Harry, which ruins many fanfic dreams.
-I am weirdly excited about Freddie Stroma’s return on UnReal tonight. I am much less excited about that thing growing on his face.
–Drake shared a note that he wrote to his mom in 2006, apologizing for his eBay addiction. (He had a WireImage subscription? Was it to look up paparazzi images of Wheelchair Jimmy?!)
-Sorry, nerds (including myself in that, of course). The Game of Thrones premiere has been pushed to next summer, and the season has been shortened.
–Evan Rachel Wood is the latest celeb to defend Amber Heard.
–Emily Blunt tries to figure out the truth while going crazy in the new trailer for The Girl On The Train. Allison Janney is in this? YASS!
–Denzel Washington, Chris Pratt, Ethan Hawke and more assemble in the Magnificent Seven trailer.