-The first trailer from Mariah Carey’s upcoming docu-series Mariah’s World just landed and I’m already hooked. “I have a rule which states that I will not be seen in fluorescent lighting without sunglasses. I know it’s very 90s.” Bless. Also, she appeared at the upfronts in a sequin bathing suit and was carried out on a chaise by two shirtless men.
-In other upfronts news, the NBC trailers look surprisingly great (especially the Parenthood-y show starring Mandy Moore and the Mike Schur sitcom with Kristen Bell), the season two trailer of Mr Robot is awesome (and includes a cool Easter egg), critics lost their poo over the 24: Legacy footage , and everyone’s loving the look of E!’s very thinly veiled take on TomKat, The Arrangement.
-Meanwhile, it was a rough weekend for female characters in pop culture. On the heels of Agent Carter’s cancellation and Sleepy Hollow’s dumb renewal without Nicole Beharie, CBS passed on a Nancy Drew reboot because it “tested too female,” and a female villain in Iron Man 3 was reportedly axed due to concerns over toy sales.
-Meanwhile, People just ran another PR camp-approved story about Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner’s cozy life in London. It’s happening, guys.
–James McAvoy and Anne-Marie Duff announced on Friday that they are divorcing after nine years of marriage. <Sad face>
–Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin hung out at Disneyland for their daughter’s birthday.
–Idris Elba is dressed like a cowboy for his new movie and I’m here for it.
–This article is excellent (and depressing): “An Oscar Winner Bullied Me So Badly That I Quit the Film Industry.” The sleuths in the comments section have pegged the movie as Election, with the horrible director being Alexander Payne and the gross assistant director George Parra, who used to date Catherine Zeta-Jones.
-That story may explain why Chloe Sevigny says she has “total disdain for directors.”
-Meanwhile, Juliette Binoche has a few choice words for Steven Spielberg and Martin Scorsese, who she says she confronted over their lack of female leads.
–Hilary Duff and Mike Comrie might be back on. Hmmmm…
-Good news: Sinead O’Connor has been found after being reported missing this morning.
–Ryan Gosling tried to trip up Stephen Colbert with a really tough Lord of the Rings question (supplied by his mom). It worked.
–Amy Schumer and Anna Wintour are reportedly going to swap lives on TV. I only want to see one side of that, but I want it REALLY bad.
–Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban singing in their car on Facebook Live is the most I’ve ever liked either of them.
-If you’re going to fall on any late night talk show during your musical performance, make it Jimmy Fallon’s. He’ll immediately lie down with you and make it better.
–Jimmy Kimmel filled in as a cohost with Kelly Ripa this morning, and he made it all kinds of awkward, asking “where’s Michael?” and “what happened?”
–Brett Ratner just redefined white privilege by penning this pissy article about the Hotel de Cap in Cannes (aka – the nicest hotel I’ve ever been to in my life). No one carried your bags? You were “ashamed” that your neighbors were makeup artists and publicists? Aw, muffin.
-Pants, flats and selfies: Everyone is breaking the rules this year in Cannes.
–Susan Sarandon is spittin’ some truth about Woody Allen in Cannes. Bless.
–Blake Lively wants a bird to poop on her head. What a coincidence! I also want a bird to poop on her head.
–Weirdest headline of the day: ‘Liev Schreiber and Taye Diggs join the My Little Pony movie’
-Against all odds, Henry Cavill just couldn’t manage to make it work with is 19-year-old girlfriend. Shocking, I know.
-At what point are we officially allowed to worry about Justin Bieber? ‘Cause I think I just reached it.
-Yikes. The Wire star Wendell Pierce was arrested for allegedly attacking Bernie Sanders supporters.
–Ben Affleck tries to make accounting seem exciting in his new movie.