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February 28, 2016

Best and Worst Dresses at the 2016 Oscars

Most of the Oscar dresses left us a little  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  (so much so that Nicole and I could only find four dresses each for our Best list). But our worst list? Gurl, brew a pot of tea and settle in because we have *thoughts*.


Jen: Not everyone’s going to like Cate Blanchett’s green Armani. It’s a risk, and that’s why we love her. It’s a bit too “fashion-y” for my personal taste, but she’s the only one who could make it work – and she does.
Nicole: She’s on trend with green but the seafoam stands out. I agree that Cate is one of the few who could wear this without it overpowering.


Nicole: Finally, Saoirse Ronan. It’s about damn time! At least someone in the Best Actress category dressed like a goddamn winner. This dress follows the classic Calvin silhouette but looks like liquid emeralds on Saoirse.
Jen: I’m so happy about this one! She’s sexy, she’s representing Ireland with the colour, and she’s being age-appropriately playful with the mismatched earrings and killer back.


Jen: It’s so hard to pull off red on a red carpet, but Charlize Theron is killing it in Dior. I’m not sure I would have agreed to the giant boob grazing necklace, but she’s making it work.
Nicole: It’s simple, sexy and everything we would expect from Charlize.


Nicole: When I saw Naomi Watts hit the red carpet in her Armani Prive dress I thought two things: 1. Wowza, that’s hot; she nailed the dress, the Bulgari necklace and the slash of red lipstick. 2. Jen’s gonna want to be buried in that dress.
Jen: You know me too well! Sometimes we play the “what designer would we choose for a red carpet if we inexplicably became famous?”, and Armani Prive is always at the top of my list. This dress perfectly exemplifies why.



Jen: Tina Fey always plays it safe and classy, and this dress is no different but that doesn’t make it any less lovely. Another plus: she totally beat Reese Witherspoon in the strapless purple dress contest!
Nicole: Tina’s last few red carpets have been sexier and more confident than usual and this gown fits that new style really well.


Nicole: Margot Robbie looks like a gorgeous Oscar statue in her snakeskin print Tom Ford gown. Her loose, tussled hair is on trend and that clutch is to die for (birthday gift idea!?).
Jen: I was a little ‘meh’ on this one. Yeah, the dress is slinky and the long sleeves are a nice change of pace, but she couldn’t have run a brush through her hair?


Jen: I think Mindy Kaling’s Elizabeth Kennedy dress is incredibly flattering and the blue almost gives it the illusion of a cape, making it one of my favourite showings from her ever.
Nicole: I generally love Mindy for her colour and brilliant style but this was too sedate for me.


Nicole: I’m so very relieved to see Kate Winslet in a new style after endless red carpets in what felt like the same dress over and over. This Ralph Lauren custom is flattering to Kate’s curves and the liquid material is sexier than we’re used to on her. It’s a great departure for her.
Jen: You like this one way more than I do. In some angles it looks like liquid sex, but in others it looks like a garbage bag.



Nicole: Well, I didn’t have great hopes for Brie Larson‘s dress and as such was not disappointed. Her blue Gucci gown was actually terrific right up until just past her stunning belt and then the weird fluttery bits made it a miss.
Jen: I had huge hopes, so I’m crushed. I love the colour, but she lost me at the terrible length and the weird pleated, ruffled skirt. Her makeup is on point, though.


Jen: God, I was praying for Rachel McAdams to kill it tonight and I got so hopeful when I first got a glimpse of the colour, but then I saw the wrinkles and puckered seams and now I’m totally bummed out.
Nicole: She had a great season and I’m sad it ended with this dress as it just didn’t show her at her best.


Nicole: Man, there were some broke-ass dresses tonight. It felt like Alicia Vikander was on a roll with her last Louis Vuitton but this lemony disaster was infuriating. How do you end up in this dress as a nominee on the Oscar red carpet? How?
Jen: The yellow is a decent colour but I want to cut off the hem, bury it in a deep, deep hole and salt the earth.


Jen: The bodice on Julianne Moore’s boring black Chanel dress looks boxy and is separating her breasts in a weird way.
Nicole: Can you imagine if Julianne had worn Margot Robbie’s Tom Ford dress instead?


Nicole: I’ve HAD IT with these dresses that look all daring with their mega cut outs and sexy skin-baring designs, then we get close up and it’s just another figure skating dress. I’m talking about you, Olivia Wilde. If you’re going to wear that Valentino dress, get some double sided tape and go J-Lo style.
Jen: Yup, can suspender dresses just be over already?


Jen: I’m so bored by Jennifer Garner’s dress. This should have been her big post-divorce coming out moment, but she played it safe in a black Versace dress I feel like I’ve seen on her before. Bless her heart.
Nicole: This is not a phoenix dress. Too bad, she could’ve really lit it up.



Nicole: I’m so bored, so tired of Rooney Mara‘s nude coloured dresses. Her Givenchy looks too similar to her McQueen dress from the Golden Globes. Yawn.
Jen: It looks like she’s wearing a doily. Also, this girl does not need any help seeming severe, so her tight hairstyle isn’t doing her any favours.


Jen: This is Star Wars actress Daisy Ridley’s very first Oscar red carpet, and she chooses to celebrate by wearing a blah Chanel dress with a weird floaty dust ruffle? And if that weren’t bad enough, her shoes. Dear lord, her shoes!
Nicole: Oh man, so many beautiful options and this is where we end up? I honestly could’ve slept through this.


Nicole: Really, Lady Gaga? You had the choice of five gowns and that’s what you chose? After a run of really beautiful ensembles, I’m bummed that she ended up in this white Brandon Maxwell pantdress on the carpet that matters most.
Jen: My eyes haven’t even taken in the pants part of it yet because I can’t tear them away from the ill-fitting chest area. It looks like she has boob pockets!


Jen: I love Amy Poehler so much that she could basically wear a curtain and I’d still be crushing on her. But damn, I wish she hadn’t tried to test that theory.
Nicole: What the what, Poehler?! A caftan? Unacceptable.

Want more red carpet coverage? Check out our thoughts on the Golden Globes and SAG Awards.