-Here comes the Ben Affleck/Jennifer Garner spin machine! His camp seems to be doing most of the heavy lifting for now, insisting that the split has less to do with his drinking & gambling and more to do with her career insecurities and his busy schedule. (Uh huh. Sure. Let’s go with that.) They’re also trying to play it like they’ve been consciously uncoupled for 10 months. (Yeah, no.) People (who are so deep in Affleck’s camp, they’ve set up tents and are hosting nightly campfire singalongs) are running stories about how he “really tried to save the marriage” and slut-shame-y galleries about Garner’s past romances. Whatever, People. Any attempts to make us not like her can be automatically nullified with this photo.
-Meanwhile, everyone’s looking closely at what the 10-year mark is going to mean for their divorce settlement.
–Matt Damon is dealing with his BFF’s divorce by sporting the world’s worst ponytail.
-Meanwhile, are Matthew McConaughey and Camila Alves the next mega-couple headed for splitsville?
-In case you need a little something to restore your faith in celebrity love, there’s talk that Jennifer Lawrence has split from Chris Martin and is rekindling things with Nicholas Hoult.
-Oof, this Batman vs Superman cover on EW is…not great. Is she Blue-Steeling? The accompanying photos are also cringe-worthy, from the bad hair to the feel that they’ve all been CGI-ed within an inch of their lives.
–Mariah Carey’s boyfriend didn’t bother to lift a finger when she fell down the stairs on a yacht. Swell.
-Us Weekly just gifted us with the best Canada Day present ever: a report that Rachel McAdams and Taylor Kitsch are, indeed, dating.
-I have never liked Eminem more than while watching him roll with all the stuff Stephen Colbert is throwing at him in this ridiculous public access-style interview to promote South Paw.
–Channing Tatum shows off his vogueing skills in this Vanity Fair video. Never change, Chan.
-Meanwhile, I’m never going to stop linking to articles on Magic Mike XXL’s surprising take on gender.
–Sandra Bullock makes it clear that she wasn’t one of those celebs who campaigned for People’s Most Beautiful title in this new interview, where she talks about the cover and calls out the media’s “open hunting season where women are attacked…because of how we look or our age.”
-It’s from Star magazine so give it the the ol’ side-eye, but there’s a report that Tom Cruise is going to make a run for it and quit Scientology.
-Vulture asked famous people, including the ladies of Broad City, Jim Norton, Rob Thomas, and Miles Teller, their favourite things to do while high. Clearly, some of their answers should have been “answering questions from Vulture.”
-Just in case you’re not already charmed by Hayley Atwell, her Evening Standard interview will leave you stanning.
-Hey, remember when Alec Baldwin was bitching about his lack of privacy? Whatever happened to that?
–Marisa Tomei will play a billionaire lesbian on Empire, subtly named Mimi Whiteman.
–Rihanna tortures woman, strips naked and gets covered in blood in the NSFW “Bitch Better Have My Money” music video. So, just another day at the office for her?
-Wait, so now I have to watch yet *another* show to see characters from The Flash/Arrow? You’re killing me, CW.
-The full trailer for Wet Hot American Summer: First Day of Camp has arrived. It’s all flames, but “Introducing Jon Hamm” might be my favourite part.
-I forgot what a wonderful human being America Ferrera is.
–Amy Schumer offers a solution for people who need to tell someone their most boring stories. “Oh my god, you should have a podcast!” killed me.
–Michael B. Jordan is *cut* in the trailer for the new Rocky sequel, Creed. Where can I buy tickets?