-Just in case you need some nightmare fuel: Channing Tatum talked about his “shriveled burnt penis” on Howard Stern‘s show today. He also discussed his past as a stripper and the possibility of being in the Ghostbusters movie.
-Starting to wonder why People is not only avoiding the Ben Affleck/Jennfer Garner breakup rumours, but they’ve basically become the couple’s loudest defender over the last few weeks? Here’s a probable theory: they’re angling for inside scoop when the inevitable finally happens.
–Jaden Smith says he wore his Batman suit to Kim and Kanye’s wedding because he “felt the need to protect everyone there” which is totally normal and in no way worrying and let’s just keep our heads down and back away slowly…
-Last night on The Bachelorette, she had sex before the show dictated when she was supposed to have sex and the internet exploded in a slut shaming spiral of suck.
–Aziz Ansari‘s promo tour for Modern Love (which I can’t wait to read) is in full swing. Here’s his best AMA answers.
-Hey girl, Ryan Gosling cares about your eggs.
–Seth MacFarlane crushed his Liam Neeson impression on Fallon. His Ray Romano could use some work, though.
-Of course the worst people on the internet are angry about John Oliver‘s online harassment segment. Of course they are.
-This article examines the unintentional hilarity of the bar scene in True Detective’s season premiere. If I had to pick a scene to mock, it would have been that final close up of the actors faces before the camera panned to a ridiculous helicopter shot, but the bar is a close second.
-More bad news for Tidal: The CEO of Jay Z’s music streaming service has been let go after less than 3 months on the job.
-Goddammit Lady Gaga, enough of that.
-Following BFF Taylor Swift‘s fight with Apple, Jamie King took a similar stance and spoke out against online TV streaming sites for not paying cast and
crew royalties. Um, not the same thing. Not that they shouldn’t get residuals from Hulu/Netflix just like they do from DVD sales, but it’s apple and oranges.
–Britney Spears just split from that guy that none of use really remembered she was dating.
-Here’s the cast of the new Independence Day movie. I think the fact that I’m most excited about Sela Ward and Brent Spiner means I’m both old AND a geek, so that’s something.
-Marvel announced that 19-year-old Tom Holland has officially been cast as the new Peter Parker/Spider-Man. I’m sure the kid is great but ain’t nobody got time for the 265th Spider-Man origin story.
–Kanye West just admitted that he was wrong about something. I have chills.
-This first promo for Netflix’s Wet Hot American Summer reboot will cast a level five charm spell on you!