-Hooo boy. According to T-Pain, Robert Pattinson and FKA Twigs are engaged (though he now claims it was an April Fool’s joke). A ton of media outlets ran with the story. Cue the tears and rending of garments until an official denial lands…
-I love how happy and fresh Lupita Nyong’o looks in Harper’s Bazaar UK.
-Speaking of good covers, Hailee Steinfeld is lovely on the latest Flare (where she’s sporting an Apple Watch).
-This is brilliance wrapped in perfection and kissed by wonderful: “If Idris Elba Were Your Boyfriend.”
–Johnny Depp and Ryan Adams are maybe sleeping with a pair of sisters, so that’s lovely.
-The music composer on Kimmy Schmidt talks about “Peeno Noir,” which has been stuck in my head on a loop for a week. (“You’re a star, listen to Tom Berenger, Peeeeennnnnooooooo Noirrrrrr!”)
-Wait, celebrities get paid to give commencement speeches?!? Matthew McConaughey will make $135,000 for a speech at University of Houston (he’s giving it to charity, though).
–January Jones is reportedly dating her Last Man on Earth costar Will Forte. I still haven’t watched that show yet, but seeing how every TV critic I follow has totally turned against it in the last few weeks, I don’t think I’m missing much.
-I tend to hate April Fool’s jokes, but Funny or Die’s “Dips” app (a platform that gives users exactly 1.5 seconds to make a video), was pretty funny. Predictably, Jennifer Lawrence’s video was the best. Britney Spears and Billy Zane deserve shout-outs too.
-I was really hoping the news that Stephen Amell was just cast in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2 was a joke. He can do better, no? Apparently a bunch of actors auditioned last weekend but it was his chemistry test with Megan Fox that got him the role. Not surprising, he has chemistry with everyone — except, you know, the actress he’s supposed to.
-Now this is an Amell appearance I’d actually want to see: he tweeted that he wants to throw the first pitch at a Toronto Blue Jays game this summer, and the Jays are in.
–Adam Scott geeking out over getting tweeted at by Mark Hamill during last night’s The Flash is so cute.
-I’m going to miss Mad Men, but I’m REALLY going to miss Vincent Kartheiser giving bonkers interviews about Mad Men.
-Sometimes I think Patton Oswalt has too much time on his hands.
–David Duchovny talked about The X Files’ return on Letterman last night, and confirmed the Cigarette-Smoking Man and Skinner are coming back.
-This is sad: Avril Lavigne says she has lyme disease and it left her bed-ridden for five months.
-God bless the Fug Girls for screencapping The Good Wife’s sexy emails from Will and tearing them apart. Because I spent a lot of the last episode pausing my TV and yelling “oh hells no!”
-I didn’t love how The Walking Dead wrapped up their season, but Nathan Fillion’s love letter to the show is full of geeky goodness.
-It’s a little inside baseball, but the CAA vs UTA thing that’s going down in Hollywood this week fascinates me.
–Major Lazer is doing a cartoon series?! When I told my brother this he responded: “Everyone has to throw their shirts in the air at the end of each episode! (But they just generally land in your living room so you can easily retrieve themafterward.)” Ha!
-Of course Harvey Weinstein‘s team is trashing his alleged victim. Of course they are.
-The new Orphan Black trailer is *intense*.
–Ethan Hawke and Jimmy Fallon channelled Bob Dylan to sing lullabies last night.
-Happy Endings creator David Caspe confirmed that the countdown clock was just a long-gestating April Fool’s joke perpetrated by the person running @happywrites, but he’s not totally ruling out a reunion.
–Jack Black and James Marsden reunite for a high school reunion in the new trailer for The D Train.
–Zach Galifianakis and Kristen Wiig make terrible bank robbers in the new trailer for Masterminds.