-Somehow, we live in a world where Ben Affleck can go full-frontal in Gone Girl, but Jamie Dornan can’t in Fifty Shades of Grey. Seriously, who’s the target demo for this movie? I’m so confused.
-I’m much more looking forward to seeing him in the second season of The Fall alongside Gillian Anderson, which debuts Nov. 14 in Canada.
–Ariana Grande called the cops on a fan who sent her a 42-pound pumpkin. She also took her diva antics to a new level at the BBC Radio 1 Teen Awards (allegedly).
-In his show last night, John Oliver cast Nick Offerman as a Home Depot employee and it was perfection.
-Speaking of Parks and Rec stars, I haven’t had a chance to crack open my copy of Amy Poehler’s book yet, but I’m loving all the reviews that praise her for depicting herself as prickly and unlikeable.
–Eliza Dushku was robbed by two dudes in costume who were staying in the same hotel as her on Halloween. This is inconceivable to me. Didn’t they know she’s Faith and can do that thing where she springs up from the ground on the back of her shoulders? (I love that thing.)
-In this new interview, New Girl’s creator is surprisingly open about how much last season sucked. I’m still not convinced it’s “found its way again,” but we’ll see. I’m much more entertained by The Mindy Project (soon to star Julia Stiles).
-There’s lots of rumours that Beyonce is planning another surprise album drop. Here’s what we know.
-Speaking of leaks, Idris Elba let it slip that he and Tom Hiddleston will be in Avengers: Age of Ultron. (I’m choosing to ignore the part where he complains about how hard being a Marvel movie star is.)
-Has Miley Cyrus nabbed herself a Schwarzenegger?
–Rosanne reunited with her TV children for her birthday (sorry, Sarah Chalke).
–Kevin Spacey‘s celebrity impressions are on point.
-It turns out that Gwyneth Paltrow‘s GOOP has debts of more than $1,800,000. I’m sure they’re artisanal, farm-to-table debts, though.
-Bad news for Robert Pattinson: his new movie with Robert Deniro just shut down due to lack of financing. Kinda feel like this kid needs a career win ASAP.
–Prince’s performance on this weekend’s SNL is life.
-The only good thing about Katherine Heigl getting a new TV show is she’s constantly forced to address rumours of her rudeness.
–Chris Brown is totes over the whole Rihanna beatdown thing and can’t understand why you aren’t too.
-Some conservative magazine read Lena Dunham’s book and is now accusing her of child abuse against her sister, which (rightly) caused her to go into a “rage spiral.”
-In happier Lena Dunham news, here’s the first preview for Girls season 4.
-So I’m not sure I’ve ever actually sat through an entire Fast and Furious movie, but the trailer for the new one is surprisingly pretty great.