-When I first saw the tweet “JLaw dating Chris Martin” I assumed it said JLo and thought “Huh, that kinda works.” And then I looked again and saw that it said JLaw, as in JENNIFER LAWRENCE, and I spent the next 20 minutes trying to clean up all the coffee I spit-taked all over my laptop. The story is from E! News and they’re claiming multiple sources, which means it’s probably legit. What. The. Eff.
-Us Weekly is going all in with the Beyonce and Jay Z divorce rumours, claiming in their new cover story that she’s “done” as soon as their tour wraps up in Paris on Sept 13. Let us all bow our heads and pray on behalf of all Canadian entertainment reporters that she doesn’t publicly call it quits during TIFF.
-Oh dear. Some woman is claiming that she’s the one who gave birth to Blue Ivy and is now suing Beyonce and Jay Z. Like they don’t already have enough to deal with.
-Let’s all hope that photo that Justin Bieber Instagrammed last night (and quickly deleted) of Selena Gomez kissing his cheek was just an ill-advised #TBT.
-Meanwhile, Demi Lovato talked about why she isn’t friends with Selena Gomez anymore, saying “People grow apart.”
-According to People (which means it’s totally true), Bruce Willis and Demi Moore issued an “ultimatum” to their 20-year-old daughter Tallulah, insisting that she go to rehab.
–Taylor Swift talked about showing up at random people’s wedding showers on Seth Meyer‘s show last night.
–Ariana Grande looks like an alien on the cover of Billboard. Seems about right.
-On Fallon this week, Sylvester Stallone didn’t hold back about how much he hated Arnold Schwarzenegger.
-Well, this isn’t a good sign: Katherine Heigl‘s new drama State of Affairs has already lost its showrunner.
–Neil Patrick Harris shot down rumors that he and David Burtka have split by posting this cute family shot.
-TV stars warn against the dangers of binge-watching in this funny clip.
-This might be the best story I’ve read all week: 10 Things I Hate About You star Andrew Keegan has started his own religion.
-Ruh roh. Another Doctor Who episode has leaked online.
–Conan O’Brien took the ALS ice bucket challenge—and his reaction was priceless.
-A clip from a failed 2007 pilot for a TV version of Not Another Teen Movie features Alison Brie as a Buffy rip-off, and Jennifer Lawrence as a rando student.
-Speaking of Alison, here’s Yahoo’s first teaser for the new season of Community.