-I had no idea Zachary Levi and Rookie Blue’s Missy Peregrym were even dating, let alone engaged, but they just had a secret wedding in Maui. It’s a good thing he wasn’t there when I stood next to her at a concert last weekend, or I would have gone full Chuck fangirl on him. It was hard enough not peppering her with questions about Stick It (which I just discovered the full version of on YouTube. Cancel my day!)
-Shocking report: a new book by a Tonight Show producer reveals that celebrities can sometimes be dicks. I know, it’s world-rocking. The called-out divas include Teri Hatcher, Jessica Simpson, Christian Bale, and Paula Abdul.
–Anna Kendrick can do no wrong. Oh wait, she just signed up to voice a “relentlessly upbeat” troll doll. That actually sounds super wrong.
–Deryck Whibley of Sum 41 says he’s starting to walk on his own again.
-In other improving health news, Tracy Morgan‘s condition has been upgraded from critical to fair.
–Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman surprised some hospital patients with a sweet serenade.
–Jimmy Kimmel got into a drunken insult battle with Cersei Lannister, and it was epic.
–Anna Wintour talked about the sad state of Hollywood red carpets: “How many mermaid fishtail strapless sequins [gowns] can we see?” Preach, lady!
–Jessie Ware has new music out, which makes me so very happy.
-Also making me happy is FunnyorDie’s video on how black women run Hollywood, starring Retta, Alfre Woodard and more.
-There was a Blossom cast reunion and the selfie from it is glorious.
-New mom Kim Kardashian must be suffering from a bad case of baby brain. She seems to have completely forgotten to wear a shirt.
-Meanwhile, Kim and Kanye spent four days perfecting one Instagram photo, which seems like a totally valid use of time.
–Jason Segel‘s says his mom cried and sent out a mass email to family members after watching his full-frontal nudity scene in Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
-According to JLo‘s new music video teaser, twerking will not die.
–Steven Soderbergh’s new show, starring Clive Owen, looks pretty damn great.
-Here’s the first 4 minutes of the Elliott Smith documentary Heaven Adores You. Sigh.
-On the Graham Norton Show, Keira Knightley said fans often mistake her for other celebrities. Natalie Portman, I get. But Britney Spears?!
-On the same show, Samuel L. Jackson proved he’s still a badass.
–Justin Bieber is off the hook for that attempted robbery case.
-Also, just in case you were wondering, Miley Cyrus rolls blunts better than Rihanna.
–Jason Momoa will play Aquaman alongside Ben Affleck and Henry Cavill in Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice. This almost kinda maybe makes me want to watch it. Possibly.
–Jack Coleman is the first returning cast member to sign on for NBC’s Heroes reboot. He’s better than this.
-It’s possible that I watched this video of Stephen Amell training for the new season of Arrow more times than is socially acceptable.
-The UK trailer for Guardians of the Galaxy is the best one yet.