Jennifer Aniston “Can’t Wait To Be Justin Theroux’s Wife.” So Why Isn’t She?

-Is Jennifer Aniston‘s publicist trying to nip any negative speculation about the nature of her engagement in the bud? How else to explain this week’s People cover story, which goes to great lengths to ensure us that the only reason the two didn’t make it down the aisle this spring as planned is because they’re just super duper busy?

-It’s a shame Kanye West rarely sits down for interviews any more, because when he does the results are always amazing. Both Vulture and Grantland did a great job of pulling out his most redonkulous quotes from his NYT profile, but if you have time I encourage you to read the whole thing in all its batshit crazy glory.

-Meanwhile, this Canadian “model” claims she had an affair with Kanye — after he got together with Kim.

-I see London, I see France, I see Reese Witherspoon…doesn’t appear to be wearing underpants.

Nicki Minaj‘s new clothing line for KMart is crazy and therefore perfect.

-In other “on the nose” endorsement deals, Zooey Deschanel is putting out a line of cutesy mani decals.

-A new supercut reveals that David Letterman really, really cares whether drummers rent or own their sets.

-It’s official: Robert Pattinson is the new face of Dior Homme fragrance.  Because who doesn’t want to smell like a sparkly vampire who looks kind of homeless?

-I like all of the words in this headline: “Lauren Graham To Adapt Her Debut Novel Into TV Series Produced By Ellen DeGeneres.”

John Krasinski might not have a great shot at an Emmy nomination for his last year on The Office, seeing as they can’t even get his name right.

-Is Gwyneth Paltrow bracing for the exposé treatment from Vanity Fair? I want!

-Congrats to Ben Mulroney, who’s the proud new papa to a baby girl named Ivy.

-In other baby news, Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer finally revealed the names of their twins, and they’re adorable: Charlie and Poppy.

Amanda Bynes’ former co-star (and rumoured schtupper) Drake Bell insists that she is totally fine, you guys!

-Meanwhile, Miley Cyrus took the high road when asked about Amanda‘s latest insult, saying “It’s so sad to me. I was rooting for her comeback until she started attacking me.”

Miley also insisted that she is still engaged. Wonder if Liam Hemsworth would agree?

-Also, Justin Bieber and Miley reportedly flirted at a nightclub and then left together. Whelp.

Will Smith proves that he’s tops when it comes to embarrassing his kids by kissing Jaden on the mouth in the middle of an interview.

-Is Kate Upton dating Maksim Chmerkovskiy from Dancing With The Stars? Does this mean we’re going to have to continue to pretend to care about both of those people?

-Here’s our first look at Rob Lowe as JFK. He still looks like Rob Lowe.

Prince Jackson took his rumoured girlfriend to the True Blood premiere on Monday. She’s like a mini Olivia Munn!

Dexter star Jennifer Carpenter is rumoured to be in a relationship with married folk singer Seth Avett. The cheatee becomes the cheater?

-The World War Z reviews are starting to come in, and they are not all as harsh as I expected. This is my fave so far.

-There are all sorts of conspiracy theories about Mad Men‘s Bob Benson and whether or not what he told Pete this week was true, or just part of a scheme. This is a compelling argument for the former.

-I kind of wish the promo tour for This Is the End would never end because James Franco has never been more tolerable. Here’s a video of Seth Rogen painting James in the nude.

-Speaking of funny promo tour moments, I liked Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson‘s description of their lion diet on Conan.

-A new interview with Stacy Keibler makes it seem like she and George Clooney are still together. At least, in her mind they are.

Lindsay Lohan will reportedly make her first post-rehab appearance at The Canyons premiere at the Venice Film Festival. Better there than TIFF.

-Despite reports that she was the top choice, Carey Mulligan reportedly turned down the chance to play Hillary Clinton.

-Speaking of biopics about famous blonds, the first trailer for Diana has landed. Naomi Watts looks good as the people’s princess, but the melodramatic piano screams Lifetime movie, no?

Jen McDonnell is an entertainment freelancer and social media specialist. She put her celeb stalking skills to good use as managing editor of Likes: pop culture, celebrity dirt, guilty pleasure TV, George Clooney, cheese. Dislikes: people who use 'begs the question' incorrectly. Follow Jen on Twitter @jen_mcdonnell. Follow Jen

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