-It’s been a while since Brad Pitt had to strain himself to promote one of his movies, but he’s breaking out in a sweat over World War Z. In a new interview with Esquire, he talks about his “conscious choice” to stop being a pothead, and gushes about his happy family life with Angelina Jolie. That cover isn’t going to sell any movie tickets though. Yuck.
-I went a way for a few days and missed the entire Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson implosion! Of course, all the blame is landing on her. She was too “moody” for him (because lord knows we just can’t let a couple break up without slut-shaming the girl or blaming it on her ovaries or some bullshit).
-Meanwhile, Rob is reportedly “in a really good mood” following the split.
-Is it weird that I felt really bad when Justin Bieber got booed at the Billboard Awards? Poor little dude looked like he was about to cry.
-Also, I don’t know what’s going on with him and Selena, but Taylor Swift was throwing her some seriously supportive BFF looks during one of his acceptance speeches.
-Wait, so is Beyonce pregnant or not? When I was away I thought E! confirmed it, but now Jay-Z‘s camp is denying it.
-Meanwhile, according to Gawker the leaked Beyoncé song sounds the same even when played in four windows simultaneously because we have reached peak Beyoncé levels!
-Speaking of being away, I’m catching up on my TV and just watched Ben Affleck‘s SNL monologue. Holy crap, Jennifer Garner really is Tracy Flick, isn’t she?!
–This is really making me want to watch Amy Schumer‘s new sketch show.
–Paul Wesley just tweeted “On a romantic date with Ben Mckenzie appropriately seeing the new HBO Liberace film” along with a photo of the two of them, and then the internet immediately drowned in slash fic.
–Amy Poehler predicts strangers’ futures in this video, which I haven’t watch yet ’cause it’s really long but I’m predicting it will be 100% adorable. (I also love and adore that she’s confident enough to wear a hoodie with no makeup and unwashed hair on TV.)
-Whoa. The kid who played Julie on Friday Night Lights has grown into a hottie.
-I have a love/hate relationship with Zach Galifianakis, but this is putting me firmly back in the love camp: his date to The Hangover 3 premiere was an 87-year-old woman named Mimi Haist. He made friends with her before he hit it big, and when he found out she’d become homeless a few years later he set her up with a place to live and now invites her to Hollywood events. These pictures of her getting ready kill me.
-Someone hide Mike Tyson‘s tiger: Justin Bartha just got engaged.
–John (“Captain Jack”) Barrowman will host a celebrity karaoke show for ABC called Sing Your Face Off. Does this mean his Arrow character is really dead?
–Kelly Rowland and Paulina Rubio will be replacing Britney Spears and L.A. Reid as judges on the X Factor, which means Fox has four months to try to make the world learn who Paulina Rubio is.
-Your opinion of the new She & Him video will largely revolve around how much you can tolerate Zooey Deschanel‘s adorableness.
-The Anchorman 2 cameos just keep coming. Now Drake is reportedly in it.
-Man, what is Dior thinking with the stuff they’re putting Jennifer Lawrence in at Cannes? Her wardrobe there is just an endless parade of the same boring dress.
-Weird question, but why is Alec Baldwin‘s wife part of his movie photocall in Cannes?
-I’m not going to lie, I am mesmerized by Blake Lively’s cooking video.
-A new trailer for The Wolverine has landed, but it looks like it’s mostly comprised of footage we’ve already seen.
–Helen Mirren, in full regalia and character, granted a terminally ill boy’s wish to meet the Queen because she’s awesome.
–This article about what happens when you land an interview with Prince made me laugh — and also made me very jealous.
–Jon Hamm‘s girlfriend Jennifer Westfeldt is going to guest-star on Girls next season, which I think is actually a great move for her. She strikes me as more of a TV person than a movie person.
-If you have 7 minutes and 41 seconds to kill, The Weeknd just posted the first song off his upcoming album.
-The Buffy series finale aired 10 years ago this week which makes me feel really old, but also really grateful that the most popular vampire story of my youth revolved around a kickass girl and not this.
-I cannot wait until Before Midnight! Vulture’s guide to all of Celine and Jesse’s conversations is making it worse.
–Lauren Graham talking about former Gilmore Girls costar Jared Padalecki’s arms cracked me up.
–Claire Danes gets her cry-face on in the new As Cool As I Am trailer.