-Ok, so this photo kind of makes it looks like Kristen Stewart is getting into a car driven by Rupert Sanders (aka – the director she had an affair with last summer, shattering Twihard hearts into a trillion little pieces). But she couldn’t possibly be that stupid, could she? Especially on the day that RPattz flew out of LA…right?! My bet is no — but that’s not going to do her any good right now.
-Oh jeez. Gus Van Sant reportedly shot some steamy footage featuring Alex Pettyfer as Christian Grey in a bid to direct Fifty Shades of Grey. I have no interest in seeing the movie, and those names certainly aren’t going to change my mind. Ian Somerhalder, on the other hand…
–Beyoncé‘s war against unflattering photos of her surfacing on the interwebs continues: she’s now banned all pro photographers from her concerts.
-I’m surprised it took this long to hit, but Gwyneth Paltrow is coming under fire for promoting a line of children’s bikinis in last week’s GOOP. It certainly raised my eyebrows when I saw it (but mostly because the spooky little girl in the ad looks like a blond, dead-eyed GOOPer in training).
-Meanwhile, Gwyneth continues to name-check Jay-Z on her Iron Man 3 press tour. (Because they’re friends, in case she hasn’t drilled that into your head yet.)
-For those of you playing along at home, Miley Cyrus‘ engagement ring is back on.
–Snoop is suddenly the leading expert on buddy Miley’s love life: “I know that she has a relationship that no longer exists.”
–Snoop is also backing a line of bracelets made from reclaimed illegal guns, which is pretty damn cool.
–Alexander Skarsgard sings a Swedish song; ovaries around the world explode.
-The UK trailer for Much Ado Movie dropped today. It offers a few more glimpses of Hero’s wedding scene, which is always the part in the play that makes me cringe. I can’t wait to see how Joss Whedon handles it. Awesomely, no doubt.
–Katy Perry is totally over her divorce from Russell Brand and thinks you should be, too.
-I love Gillian Anderson, but man I wish she’d get a better stylist. Look at how her dress is bunching in the bodice. And those shoes!
–Janice Dickinson is bankrupt and $1 million in debt, but she’s “taking steps to pay everyone back.”
-This is amazing: Jimmy Kimmel sent a video crew to Coachella and tricked attendees into gushing over made-up bands.
-I’m a big fan of Paul F. Tompkins (who’s a regular on basically every comedy podcast ever recorded), and now I’m an even bigger fan since I discovered his “Speakeasy” YouTube series. The best part is when he gets celebrities to recreate Internet memes. Community’s Alison Brie does a great unflattering Beyonce, and New Girl’s Jake Johnson is clearly related to Grumpy Cat.
-Speaking of Alison Brie, she just made a Funny or Die video with boyfriend Dave Franco. (It’s very NSFW.)
–Kate Middleton showed off her growing belly bump in a clingy Erdem dress today.
-Guys, I just found out that the guy who played Max on Roswell is married to the woman who played Charlotte on Private Practise and it’s blowing my mind!!
-I always forget that Rachel Bilson is still with Hayden Christensen, but they were spotted vacationing in Barbados this week.
–Amanda Bynes wants you to know that she doesn’t smoke pot in the bathroom. Because clearly that’s what we’re all worried about…
–The Office‘s Rainn Wilson beats up How I Met Your Mother‘s Josh Radnor before talking about meditation in this new video.
-Speaking of mildly entertaining videos, Michael Cera just uploaded his new short film, featuring WTF costars like Kelis and Charles Grodin.
-Did Reese Witherspoon and her camp just throw her husband under the bus? And is anyone surprised at all by this turn of events?
-Meanwhile, BFF Chelsea Handler is sticking up for her, calling the arrest “no big deal.”
-Oh, and now there’s video of her arrest!
–Justin Bieber has officially given up his pet monkey because “a baby monkey was never going to be suited to be on a world tour even if he is travelling by private jet.” Truer words were never spoken.
-That drink that Ted ordered on Sunday night’s Mad Men? It’s an Old Spanish – a made-up cocktail from 30 Rock.
–Liam Gallagher “tried to ride a dog after drinking champagne in a pub.” We’ve all been there.
–Gilmore Girls star Lauren Graham is doing lots of press for the new novel she wrote (you can read the first chapters here), and that includes talking about how she’s been on a diet for 35 years, which I really wish I didn’t know.
-Here’s the new poster for Before Midnight. I just realized I’m going to be in NYC when it’s released and am now debating how lame it would be to sneak away from my travel buddies to go see it opening night…
-Speaking of movies, The Thor 2 trailer has arrived. I kind of feel like I have to see these movies now whether I want to or not if I expect to follow along with the Avengers films. Sigh.