–Reese Witherspoon pulled a Tracy Flick-style hissy fit on a cop this weekend — complete with some “do you know who I am?” bullshittery — and got herself arrested while her hubby was being pulled over for DUI. (This type of behaviour will come as no surprise to anyone who’s ever read a gossip blog.) She’s since switched back into sweet southern belle mode and has apologized profusely. Also, the police report is worth a read, mostly because it details how her hubby kept deferring to her when answering the cop’s questions. But I wonder if we’ll ever find out who the backseat passenger was?
-Meanwhile, Jim Toth reportedly “feels awful” that he dragged Reese into this mess. But it’s not like he was the one telling her to get out of the car and shoot her mouth off, was he?
-Oh, and now every joke Reese has ever made about alcohol will be trotted out today.
–Jennifer Garner also had a brush with the law (well, she got a parking ticket) and demonstrated how Hollywood mommy types are supposed to react in these types of sitches.
–Justin Bieber posted a cuddly photo with Selena Gomez this weekend before quickly deleting it — but not before the entire world grabbed a screenshot.
-A Jamie Foxx/Channing Tatum dance-off? Pray for video, people!
-Meanwhile, here’s our first look at Jamie Foxx in the new Spider-Man movie. Sweet combover, bro.
-And here’s our first look at Halle Berry in X-Men: Days of Future Past.
–Carey Mulligan is on a role when it comes to adaptations of classic literature. She just signed on to play Bathsheba in Far From the Maddening Crowd (a book I had such a hard time getting through in high school. So many scenes about sheep!)
–Bruce Willis is the best wingman ever, according to Gerard Butler.
-E! is developing a spinoff of The Soup called The Soup Investigates, another show I will intend to watch but never actually get around to it.
-I’m really digging Jennifer Lawrence‘s new haircut.
-Remember that sorority sister’s email that went viral last week? Now you can watch Michael Shannon’s dramatic reading of it. I didn’t realize how much I really wanted to see him say the phrase “c*nt punt.”
–This headline is very mean, but Drew Barrymore‘s outfit deserves it.
-Oh, merde. Nicollette Sheridan has been granted a new trial over her Desperate Housewives lawsuit.
-If you were already sad about Kim Gordon and Thurston Moore‘s split, this won’t help. In an interview with Elle, Kim revealed that Thurston had an affair.
-I liked Alison Brie‘s Esquire interview (though I could have done without all the bathing suit photos).
-Speaking of things we didn’t need to see, Rihanna posted some photos of her teeny tiny bikini on Instagram.
–Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson were spotted together at a gas station. Squeee?
-A new clip from Star Trek Into Darkness has landed. God bless the costume designer for putting Chris Pine in head-to-toe spandex!
–Justin Long is all kinds of charming in this interview, which turns into a rom-com quiz.
-There’s a new website called “Right or Rude” which compiles celebrity sighting stories and determines which category a star falls under. Not surprisingly, Ryan Gosling and George Clooney are total menches.
-Oh no. Showtime might be considering a Dexter spinoff focused on Debra.
-I loved this Grantland article on Parks and Recreation and its lack of press coverage because of the “unsexiness of quality and consistency.”
-Forget all the Veronica Mars hype; the real Kickstarter success story is The Lizzie Bennet Diaries, which ends its campaign tonight by getting eight times what they asked for and ending up in the top 5 highest funded film/video projects ever.
–Gwyneth Paltrow offered a diplomatic description of the gifts her husband gives her, but then lost all those karma points by saying she really doesn’t want her children to pronounce “pasta” the way British people say it. (“Pass-ta instead of pah-sta”)
-Speaking of Gwynnie, three minutes from the new Iron Man movie have leaked online, but it’s dubbed in Spanish and seems pretty spoiler-free. A better bet is the new official clip featuring Tony and Pepper‘s “lame” date night.