–Scarlett Johansson covers the new issue of Marie Claire, in which she talks about her turn-offs (“jealous behaviour”) and her marriage to Ryan Reynolds (“It wasn’t that long ago but I think I’ve had a fair amount of time to process the experience”). No word if the two topics are connected.
–Amanda Bynes hit the gym in fishnets and burst into tears when her wig fell off while attempting a cartwheel. “It’s ok, we’ve all been there,” said absolutely nobody.
-It was a big weekend for trashy blondes! Jenna Jameson was arrested for allegedly beating up her former assistant, a fellow porn actress. Meanwhile, Jaime Pressly and Estella Warren questioned by police after getting into an altercation over a missing phone at Hollywood hot spot. (Frankly, both of those ladies should just be grateful they can still get into Hollywood hot spots at all.)
–Sara Gilbert and Linda Perry are engaged, and their proposal story is really cute.
–Jenna Dewan bares her bulging belly bump in the new issue of Glamour.
-I was confused about how exactly Beyonce and Jay-Z managed to get around the US tourism embargo to visit Cuba last week. Apparently, I’m not alone.
-I love that Kelly Clarkson is basically a professional photo-bomber at this point.
–Courtney Love says she’s been approached to judge “one of these talent shows” that’s currently on TV. Oh jeez. I already get weekly phone calls from my mother asking me to explain Nicki Minaj‘s (“Meen-ash”) presence on Idol to her. I can’t even begin to contemplate how she’d deal with this new development…
–Miley Cyrus may or may not have been photographed smoking weed this weekend.
–Leonardo DiCaprio is reportedly giving Bradley Cooper dating advice, and it’s as terrible as you’d expect it to be.
-The Oblivion press tour has taken a weirdly desperate turn. Just how desperate, you ask? Check out these photos of Tom Cruise making dumplings in Taiwan.
-Last night’s Mad Men season premiere got lower ratings than last year’s.
–Drew Barrymore doesn’t think women can have it all. Well, that settles it, then!
-I’m a fan of the Veronica Mars t-shirt designs for the Kickstarter supporters (especially the blinds one). I’m assuming it comes with Jason Dohring too? ‘Cause that would make me feel a whole lot better about my donation.
-Also, they released a director’s cut of the Kickstarter video, which features a few more seconds of Veronica/Logan adorableness!
–Gwyneth Paltrow threw a birthday party for her son on Saturday, which looked crazy fun.
–Seth Green talks about that time he scaled the Sydney Opera House, for some reason.
–Chris Brown is reportedly cursing another woman with his presence.
-Meanwhile, Rihanna is bringing vintage Ottawa Senators jerseys back in style.
–Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder stopped by a Toronto hospital to visit a sick fan while they were in town for Easter recently.
-A friend of Lindsay Lohan (she still has those?!) is worried about her health if she goes to Coachella. Hell, I’m worried about my health if she goes to Coachella. (Sidenote: four more sleeps!)
-Meanwhile, Lindsay and her boyfriend broke up, preventing us from ever having to learn his name.
–Selena Gomez claims no guys have asked her out since she broke up with Justin Bieber.
–Jack Black got roasted at the Friars’ Club on Friday and it sounded awesome.
–David Cross and Julia Stiles are really sad about the world ending in a new clip from It’s a Disaster.
-I’m actually surprised it took this long for Chanel to sign Diane Kruger as a spokesperson.