Monthly Archives

November 2012

James Franco Channels Danny Zuko in New R.E.M. Video

James Franco may pass himself off as a Renaissance man, but there’s one thing he can’t do: dance (as proven by this new Grease-inspired R.E.M. music video).

Halle Berry’s ex Gabriel Aubry is showing off his battered face and claiming  Olivier Martinez made death threats against him.

The Office‘s Rainn Wilson and Craig Robinson wasted no time spoofing Angus T. Jones‘ video.

-Oh goodie: now Charlie Sheen has weighed in on the Two and a Half Men hoopla.

Jada Pinkett Smith’s response to the kerfuffle surrounding her daughter Willow‘s hair is actually pretty boss.

-Another day, another American Idol scandal. This one involves Nicki Minaj calling Steven Tyler a racist. If only the show were this entertaining…

-Speaking of Idolers, Kelly Clarkson is not happy that a tabloid implied she had anorexia.

Ashlee Simpson and that guy from Boardwalk Empire are kaput.

-Also joining the Splitsville population: Shia LaBeouf and Karolyn Pho.

Brad Pitt has a new movie coming out this week, which means we’re suddenly flooded with soundbites about his upcoming marriage. Yay?

-Guys, Ben Savage AND Danielle Fishel have both signed on for the Boy Meets World sequel. I’m way too excited about this.

Elizabeth Hasselbeck said something I kinda agree with and now my world is askew.

Shakira just showed off her giant baby bump on Instagram.

-This morning, Scarlett Johansson tried her hand at being a meteorologist, revealing that she has no clue where Pennsylvania is.

Aaron Paul just found out how Breaking Bad is going to end. If he needs a hug, I’m available.

-If Justin Bieber can’t be with Selena Gomez, does a Selena Gomez lookalike count?

Amanda Bynes is too busy posting trashy photos on Instagram to show up to her court hearings.

-Well, this might be the meanest elevator prank in the history of the world.

-I haven’t actually seen Breaking Dawn, Part 2 but this clip of Michael Sheen’s weird laugh might just make the whole thing worth seeing in theatres.

Kim Kardashian was the most searched person of 2012, proving most people don’t deserve the Internet.

Rupert Grint just revealed that Emma Watson once had a thing with the guy who played Neville Longbottom. She must be just thrilled about that.

Neil Patrick Harris‘ trippy new web series, Neil’s Puppet Dreams, has debuted. I don’t want to oversell it, but it’s probably the best thing you’ll ever see.

Angus T. Jones Begs Us to Not Watch Two and a Half Men. Done!

-In a new video about religion (I think?), Two and a Half Men star Angus T. Jones calls the show “filth” and urges you to stop watching it. It’s strange; he wasn’t complaining when he became the highest paid child star in TV, earning $300k per ep with a $500k signing bonus during contract negotiations in 2010.

-In case you missed the national tragedy that was Liz & Dick, Gawker has put together a supercut of Lindsay Lohan’s worst moments.

-Meanwhile, Lilo is reportedly “devastated” by the vicious reviews. What did she expect?! I’ve seen better emoting from a coffee pot.

-In happier(?) Lindsay news, Charlie Sheen reportedly gave her $100k to pay off her tax bills.

-In case you somehow weren’t convinced that Channing Tatum is a stand-up guy, Joseph Gordon-Levitt revealed that he got supportive emails from the Magic Mike star when JGL was spoofing him on SNL.

Beyonce is going to direct her own biography. Is there nothing she can’t do?!

Blake Lively‘s wedding photos won’t hit newsstands until Dec. 24. On the plus side, now you have something to distract you from the family drama.

Chris Brown deleted his Twitter count, but not before throwing some truly horrific remarks a comedienne’s way. And now his followers are sending her death threats ’cause stupid breeds stupid.

-In other depressing Chris Brown news, Rihanna tweeted a picture on Saturday of him on her bed.

-Speaking of Rihanna, I really liked this article on the promotion of her latest album. “You wonder if anyone’s made sure that Rihanna is OK.” Word.

Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes spent a cuddly Thanksgiving in NYC.

Andrew W.K. has been appointed the U.S. cultural ambassador to Bahrain. No, really. (Oh crap. The State Dept. just announced they’re backing out of the arrangement. Killjoys.)

Justin Bieber doesn’t like it when you imply he’s white trash for wearing overalls to meet the prime minister, mmm-kay?

-In case you ever wanted to see Justin get punched in the face, it’s your lucky day (sorta).

Cee-Lo Green has a new Christmas video (boo!) but it features Muppets (yay!).

-In a new interview, Oprah reveals a recent breast cancer scare and says she may shut down her magazine because she “hates bleeding money.”

Lea Michele spent Thanksgiving snowboarding in Whistler with Cory Monteith.

-Meanwhile, Lea looks fab in the new issue of Flare.

-Speaking of glamorous photo shoots, check out little Abigail Breslin looking all grown up!

Demi Lovato just got a huge new tattoo (or 12 little ones, depending on how you look at it.)

-This is supposedly Amanda Bynes. No word why she’d dressed like Fergie during her chola/Wild Orchid days.

-If someone had to team up to sing about cockroach sex, I guess I’m glad it’s Iggy Pop and Ke$ha.

The Walking Dead‘s Norman Reedus (Daryl) is 45? Crazypants! He’s still hot — and still has great taste in music.

-A new Les Mis trailer has landed. Also, early reviews are trickling in and they are beyond gushing. Yay!

Recap: Liz & Dick

Grant Bowler and Lindsay Lohan in Liz & Dick. (Lifetime)
Grant Bowler and Lindsay Lohan in Liz & Dick. (Lifetime)

Nicole and I watched Lifetime’s Liz & Dick live while playing Go Fug Yourself’s drinking game. The results were – much like the movie – not pretty. Below is our IM conversation:

Nicole: I’m ready with my bottle of Sibling Rivalry wine.

Jen: Nice – I’m drinking an aptly named gamay nouveau called The Fool.

Nicole: “Based on a true story”… I’m already laughing.

Jen: Grant Bowler used to be on a cheesy New Zealand soap called Adrenalin Junkies. I never would’ve guessed that’d be his career high.

Nicole: Lindsay’s mole is going to KILL me.

Jen: Oh sweet Jesus, is she trying an accent?!

Nicole: It’s more like too much enunciation.

Jen: First drink! “Lilo’s eye makeup is more compelling than her acting.” And now take another drink because they just mentioned the paparazzi.

Nicole: And he quoted Shakespeare. We need to drink whenever “Grant Bowler is forced to quote Shakespeare, Donne, or anyone else you’d have read in English 101, because RICHARD BURTON IS OF THE STAGE!!!!”

Jen: Elizabeth Taylor had a high voice. Lilo sounds like she woke up and immediately pounded 3 packs of cigarettes.

Nicole: There’s a drink cart in this scene. Drink!

Jen: Lilo is playing someone who knows her lines better than her costars. I can’t suspend my disbelief this much.

Nicole: She’s wearing a head scarf. Drink!

Jen: Dammit – I almost need to refill my glass already and we’re only 11 mins in!

Nicole: It’s lovely that she’s actually grinding him while shooting the Cleopatra sex scene.

Jen: Ha! The Fug Girls just tweeted, “I love that these two are stunned STUNNED that Antony and Cleopatra have a love scene. SPOILER!!!”

Nicole: I’m super worried that I’m going to see Richard’s lady parts in his Antony costume. Those are short skirts!

Jen: That might actually make this movie better.

Nicole: Drink! Paparazzi mention!

Jen: IT’S CREED FROM THE OFFICE! Why is he in this movie?!

Nicole: Her dress is gorg. Purse too. But I wonder if she tried to steal that necklace her character just got?

Jen: Damn, he just quoted John Dunne AND Coleridge! Drink.

Nicole: And now he’s wearing a toga. Drink.

Jen: So much drinking already….

Nicole: We are super good at this!

Jen: She just gave him a John Donne book. Was this movie financed by Donne’s estate?

Nicole: There’s another drink cart. Drink.

Jen: I’m only going to refer to Lilo as “Dumpy” from now on.

Nicole: And yet another drink cart. Drink.

Jen: Ewww! Richard just said, “I don’t need the pool. I’ve got a whole ocean in you.”

Nicole: Fur hat AND throwing glass AND drink cart. So much drinking to do…

Jen: This movie jumps around so much it feels like it’s been edited by a blind guy on meth.

Nicole: Who wrote this!?!

Jen: Don’t know, but I can’t imagine anyone actually admitting to it.

Nicole: I’m good until the next commercial break, then I’m quitting this show. I’Il never survive the whole thing.

Jen: I would too but I just can’t look away!!

Nicole: Richard is Welsh? That’s the accent he’s supposed to be doing?!

Jen: I guess. Dumpy looks so bloaty in the flash-forward scenes.

Nicole: I wish gloves would be a thing again.

Jen: I really hope Lilo stole her entire wardrobe from the set.

Nicole: The paps are back. Drink!

Jen: Is it wrong that I want to see Dumpy attempt Hamlet?

Nicole: I want to see Slut on a Hot Tin Roof.

Jen: Turban – drink!

Nicole: Another scene, another turban. Drink!

Jen: She really does look great in this movie but I’m drinking so much, the TV screen’s getting blurry.

Nicole: Obvs. You just said she looks great.

Jen: Steve from Sex and the City just showed up!

Nicole: Oh, poor Steve!

Jen: I’m toasting his career downturn.

Nicole: Did Richard just call Liz a “butterball”?

Jen: Yeah, I’m getting a body complex just listening to him.

Nicole: Where did all these children climbing on the bed come from?

Jen: I really hope they’re all theirs. They might have just drunkenly stole some kids one night.

Nicole: It’s like the Von Trapps.

Jen: Head scarf. Drink!

Nicole: And yet another head scarf. Drink!

Jen: So they’re supposed to be fat now? They look exactly the same. Were there no fat suits in the wardrobe budget?

Nicole: That’s it; I’m out. I can’t take anymore.

Jen: It’s almost over. I just can’t stop.

Nicole: Oh dear. Good luck!

Jen: There’s 25 minutes left, which works out to only about 75 more sips for me. Yay!