-This is both sad and terrifying: Modern Family kidlet Ariel Winter was removed from her home after allegations of physical and emotional abuse were made against her mom.
-On the Today Show, Kristen Stewart deflected a point-blank question about whether she’s back together with Robert Pattinson by saying she’d rather let “people watch whatever little movie they think our lives are.” And then she swung foot like she was trying to slash Matt Lauer‘s throat with her high heel.
-Another day, another ridiculous report about Jennifer Aniston being pregnant.
–Rihanna and Chris Brown‘ duet on her new album Unforgivable is called “Nobodies Business.” (Hmmm…it’s almost like she’s trying to tell us something.) Listen to it here.
–Beyonce is on Instagram! There goes my entire day.
–Parks and Recreation‘s Pawnee has, literally, the best fake newsletter ever.
-Despite reports, Jennifer Lopez says she did not fire a hotel maid in Germany for asking for an autograph. So there.
-A new Les Mis trailer! This makes me stupidly happy. I actually squealed a little bit when I opened my mailbox yesterday and saw Hugh Jackman on the cover of my EW.
–Lindsay Lohan thinks she is embroiled in a police conspiracy. Sure she is…
-Kirstie Alley insists her BFF John Travolta isn’t gay. Well then, case closed!
–Eddie Murphy‘s got a hot new model girlfriend who is 18 years his junior. Of course.
-If you’re wondering why everyone thought Diane Sawyer was shitfaced on air last night, here’s the video.
–James Franco showed his Wicked love on Halloween. It’s a great costume, but surprisingly pedestrian for him, no?
–Billy Ray Cryus says Miley and Liam Hemsworth are having not one wedding, but three. That’s three time the chances to pimp out her wedding photos. Smart daddy.
–Johnny Depp and Amber Heard were spotted being “flirty.”
–Brian Williams thinks Donald Trump has “driven well past the last exit to relevance.” Word.
-A guy proposed to his girlfriend in from of the Star Trek cast, and their reactions are priceless. Levar Burton looks unimpressed, and Patrick Stewart looks like he’s actually face-palming. Maybe the guy asked him to say “engage”?
-Wait, so reports that Nicolas Cage would appear in The Expendables 3 was just a hoax? But that was set to be his best career move in YEARS.
–Anthony Bourdain went on a Twitter rant against the Cadillac product placement in his show, No Reservations. Gawd I heart him.
–Taylor Swift has finally transformed into the fairytale princess we always imagined her to be.
-Sure, The Americans looks like a cheap Homeland ripoff, but I support anything that puts Felicity back on my TV screen.