-Now that Kristen Stewart has had to go into hiding for being a typical stupid 22-year-old and making unicorns cry or something, the focus has turned to Robert Pattinson. Is it possible the world’s best coiffed sad sack is not that innocent himself? Jezebel has posted a pretty thorough compilation of all the rumours about him stepping out on KStew over the years. Because if we’re going to slut shame, we might as well be equal opportunists about it!
-Judging by some recent Twitter sightings, it looks like RPattz is bouncing back from the split just fine…thanks to the help of some “panty droppers.” Charmbomb!
-Meanwhile, EW has released new, cuddly stills of the couple in Breaking Dawn, Part 2. Man, who knew this franchise could possibly get more cringe-worthy?!
–Keanu Reeves and Alex Winter are both onboard for a Bill and Ted sequel? Whoa!
–Clint Eastwood‘s daughter was celebrating her birthday Tuesday night at a Hollywood hotspot and says that Lindsay Lohan interrupted the party by trying to get her thrown out of the club.
-At least Linds followed it up with a “mellow” night with her pals.
–Joe Simpson continues to live up to our expectations by getting arrested for DUI.
-It’s getting serious with Taylor Swift and Conor Kennedy: she took him home to meet her ‘rents.
-Is Paris Jackson using her Twitter fans to mean girl her former BFF?
-Thanks to Vulture for leading me to Jessie Ware. I’ve been listening to “Sweet Talk” on repeat all day!
–Mark Wahlberg will soon have more to apologize for than Entourage. He says it’s his mission to make Justin Bieber a movie star. Sigh.
-These Community bloopers are exceptionally vomit-heavy.
–Woody Harrelson tells Stephen Colbert he’s off pot: ‘I haven’t had anything since this morning.’
–David Duchovny does nothing to quell those Gillian Anderson affair rumours by talking about how much he wants to do another X Files movie.
–Mad Men‘s Jessica Pare pulled a Scarlett Johansson and joined Jesus and Mary Chain onstage to sing “Just Like Honey.”
-In her new interview with Oprah, Rihanna says of her split from Chris Brown: “I lost my best friend.”
-Meanwhile Oprah says Rihanna surprised her by not being a badass.
–Buffy has a big baby bump!
–Kim Kardashian and Kanye West made quite the hike for a meeting with Salma Hayek‘s hubby.
-Now that she’s conquered everything else, Beyonce has decided to give world peace a go.
-Meanwhile, Bey and Jay-Z were just named the highest paid celebrity couple of 2012.
-I really did try to get through all of the trailer for Gerard Butler and Jessica Biel’s new movie….but sheesh! (And this is coming from someone who saw The Bounty Hunter on purpose!)